Memories which stays within me....

Its been 1 month that i haven blog

2010-06-22T22:26:00.002+08:00

Its nearly to 1 month that my blog is like left untouched....
Dint have time to blog actually lately....
School been busy with project after projects...
And now finally im on my 2 weeks break but guess what its about to end soon after this week :((
I want more holidays so that i can do the things i like....
Next week is common test week...i have yet to study anything.....
Abnormal psychology and Behavioural Modification and and and lab prac...
Omg i have yet to start anything....
I wanna do well man!!!!
Now that i am sponsored by SGH.... i wanna do well and not be forced to leave the bond or anything....
I will persevere on.....
And yes i have a new lappy but its a bit screwed cz of the software and its like window 7 and im not familiar with it.....:((
But its a cool lappy!!!

Today i went to little india for breakfast cum lunch cum dinner....
Oh my i feel so bad wasting food.....
Its was a big portion....
The food was nice except the onion.....
Next time should ask the chef not to add onion for me.....
Then was thomson park to chill relax and talk.....
everything went welll....
Now its time to do some school work and to fully utilise my timing....
and yes SOMEONE got a new iphone for replace.... so cool huh????
But he is sad cz all his apps and documents are gone....
I feel sad for you tho...if i am in your position i will cry, cz its no diff from losing a iphone....:((

But still I LOVE AND MISS YOU:))

SHREK 3D movie w my dearest boy

2010-05-28T15:23:00.004+08:00

Today is Vesak Day!!!
Which means no school today and its my rest day at home.

Have been sick for the past 1 week plus and i have yet to recover.
On 20th May thursday it started with a mild flu which i thought was sinus....
Then came 21st May Friday flu got worst and i knew it wasnt sinus but it was a bad flu that is attacking me and later it developed into Fever and bodyache when evening came :((
I dint know i had fever until i feel the bodyaching and decided to take my temperature...
Fever was 38.7 and subsequently it raised up to 39.6....
2 panadol extra was popped into my mouth...
The whole night was a suffering night for me....
When 22nd May Saturday came, 113oam i woke up...
Fever was still there....
Developed cough and my voice sounded sore...
and so i decided to consult a doctor in case sunday there is no doctor for me to see besides that expensive 24hours....
Went to my GP at my house downstairs...
My fever was 38.7 and doctor said i had serious flu virus.....
And he gave me cough mixture, gastric medication (omesec), antibiotic (clarithromycin) and flu tablet......
i took it once i reached home and slept through my day at home....
Sunday came and my fever was still there,cough and body ache too....
But flu was gone....
But i started to have difficulty in breathing....
Took my medication constantly and monday went back to school, persever through....
And again on Wednesday i went to see the doctor again because it got bad again on Tuesday....
Since wednesday i had 3hours break in school....
Supooected with Puenmonia....
Cz i have got breathing difficulty and i could hear phelgm accumulated at my lungs....
Asked to do a x-ray but i have yet to go.....
haiz 2 days mc but still i went to sch....
I am still on recovery.......
1 week 2 days :((

Yesterday was a bad day, in fact for the past 2 days la...
Guess i wasnt being understanding at times...
I was being a bad girl....
But thank God to sherk 3D movie and everything is ok now....
Dear no matter what i still love you and treasure you as my beloved dearest boy :))
I LOVE YOU!!!

happy 30th my dearest boy DINESH

2010-05-16T01:18:00.004+08:00

Its dearest boy birthday today....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Celebrated for his last week at Sentosa :)))
He was happy and infact both of us were happy spending a day together....
Today marks his 1 year older birthday....
Stayed up just to wish him at 12am sharp....
I hope on his this birthday he will be happy always and be sucessful in whatever things he does....
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS!!!!

2010-05-15T19:34:00.002+08:00

CONGRATES TO HILARY HOE & JOANN CHIA!!!!
PRESENTING TO YOU THE NEWLY COUPLES!!!!

End of kkh posting in NYP

2010-05-14T23:41:00.008+08:00

KKH posting have come to an end.....
Yipee i survived through my 1 week and its really an accomplishment for me....
Met up with my dearest boy and im happy, very happy managed to have heart to heart talk after a week.....
We shared the same sentiments about stuff and we agreed to support each other be it in sickness and in health through good and bad times :))
Haha sound like marriage rite....

Monday is back to school and the time table sucks to the maximum.....
But we are all going to endure it through and make it till we PRCP....
Anyway next week will be sponsorship agreement time.....
With SGH...
Finally soon i can declare that i am SPONSORED rather than saying im SELF SPONSORED!!!!
-YEAH-

I AM SORRY DEAR

2010-05-12T00:05:00.002+08:00

Last weekend was a day out with my dearest boy....
Yes yes had a great day at Sentosa...
Its been so long since i last have heart to heart talk with my dearest...
And 8th was a good day....
i love you my dearest boy :)
FOREVER I WILL BE :)
Hope nothing goes wrong along the way....
LOVE YOU ALWAYS :)

This week is going to be my last week at kkh which means its back to school on monday.
Sian sian sian....
Cz there is no break.
But i am happy anyway, looking on the bright side :))
i wanna study hard and get good grades.
And yes i got my sponsorship with SGH and yes which means i am going to support myself soon when the sponsorship is approved and i got to serve a 2yrs bond after i graduate from my diploma.

Today i made my boy angry,
i am sorry dear...
I am really sorry...
I miss you and hope everything is going to be alright....
I miss you so much, i wanna see you once again....

I am down with flu now....
cant breathe properly, texted him with no reply....
Its always when he is not in a good mood he needs time for himself...
hope tmr he will be ok and back to normal self...
I LOVE AND MISS YOU!!!

paeds posting

2010-04-28T22:40:00.003+08:00

My blog is dying i know, have been busy lately and caught up with alot of things....
Since after my birthday post i dint update anything due to "many thinking" that have been haunting me....
Holiday officially ended on 19th april and from then till now i have been busy with attachment, taking care of many vulnerable kids...some of them really made my day :)
Dearest boy have come back and yes of course i am happy....
His absence was a killer for me but i just tried my very best to be happy and take that time to spend with my friends....
Every now and then we have been spending time together and yes we planned a day out on 8th!!!
I am looking forward to that very day...
Its going to be a combined birthday celebration....

Next week i will be Obs and then to Gyn....
duno how iszit going to be like.
Hope i have a good CI and lecturer and enjoy my posting like this 2 weeks at paeds...
I am looking forward....

HAPPY 22nd birthday to me :))

2010-04-08T20:37:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME....
Just celebrated my 22nd....
A simple one with some of my fellow beloved cell leaders :))
Thanks everyone for the advanced, during and belated birthday wishes :)

People whom i dont expect to wish me, wished me...
People whom i have lost contact with, wished me...
People whom i know will wish me, wished me...
And last of all i last all of you :)

My family and love....
Celebrated my 22nd with my family and relative in collaboration with EASTER SUNDAY :))
Dear called me and wished me at night...i was delighted and lost with words...

Thanks to Jo, mel and nic for granting my wish....
- a topshop jacket
- a wall decals (my wish)
- a creative birthday card
- celebrating my 22nd with me!!!

Last but not least i thank God for making this day possible for me....
Making me a happy girl during this special occasion.
Nevertheless he bring me to this world on 7th April in 1988...
Lord, i pray that you can be with me throughout my days on this earth and let me be a happy girl whether or not things get out of hand and be worries free...
AMEN:))

Advanced surprised birthday

2010-04-04T00:29:00.002+08:00

Just came back...was out since morning :)
Few hours back was at Joie's place and guess what eXcess celebrated MELVIN'S and MINE birthday with SWENSEN ICE CREAM CAKE!!!!
Yummy:))
Thanks people!!!
Today its EASTER and its also Melvin's 23rd birthday!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

dear i need you

2010-04-01T12:02:00.006+08:00

Past few days been out with my lovely cousin and his wifey....
Thank God my cousin drives and therefore it saved us on our travelling fare and also not making the 2 girls travel so much before my condition gets worst.
I am still on a recovery but i believe i will get better in time....
Just be happy and spending everyday without any regrets :)

Cant wait for BF to be here for me...
all i need is him to be here and he could help me out....
He's been busy lately running errands at his home and hardly have time to even call me....
Haiz Daphy just tolerate for a few more days/weeks and he is free!!!
And YES i will wait:)

My outing started off on monday afternoon when everything was settled and out from that scary place where no one would ever want to be in....
Off to movie with my cousin and his wifey at Vivo city :)
Ooops i gt to declare i slept for awhile and the interesting part came and i woke up....
Hehe but the movie was quite touching at the end.
Then was treat to JERRY'S for dinner...
it was superb and delicious dinner we had together and spoke alot of endless stuff and it was a good bonding for the 3 of us :))
Then after that was Home sweet home...
Then tuesday came...
Drove to Orchard Central shopped and waited for our movie at 250pm at Cine.
Watched " HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON"...
Touching show and how you can make one obey you and like you....
After movie was PRAWNING...
Its so fun fun fun....
Thought it would be like fishing but prawning its so much better then fishing.....
BBQ there after a couple of catch and it was home sweet home....
I WANT TO DO PRAWNING AGAIN WHO IS FREE TO ENTERTAIN ME????

Then wednesday was just a girls day out with my cousin in law as her husband had other plans...
Went to far east shopped and bought nothing so decided to go to AMK instead nearer to home and more things to buy.....
And yes yes i bought many things a skirt, a top and etc :)
Now im broke :(
Thats the sad part :((
And yes my new computer table arrived at 5pm...
I am so so happy!! It was a happy day for me till i got home and the night made it worst...
Daphy cried and she is in the most fearful part now....
scared to leave home, just wanna hide at home and never want to go out alone unless people ask me out....
She is scary, i never knew i had such a friend, in fact i dun have such scary friend before....
God please help me.....
I just wanna be happy and live my life to the fullest with my love ones around me....

Ok a request from rachael wong pong pong to put up a birthday wishlists and here it goes:
- a durable back pack (from crumpler or adidas)
- nike water bottle (the one i saw in orchard central)
- iphone/ipod
- digital photo frame
- slim 4GB thumb drive
- To go zoo
- To sit on flyers
- To go Bird park
- etc etc etc........................................................

This week being the holy week...
I want to do something and maintain it and that is to try think positively and be his instrument in my ministry......
I want to be his tools....

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

dear boy safety at sri lanka and his journey back

2010-03-23T13:46:00.002+08:00

Results is out and its beyond my expectations :)
Pharmacology- distinction
Nursing lab and statistic- A's
Adult nursing and CP- B's
PPR, Socio, research meth- C's
Bio sci 2B- D+
overall gpa 2.6...it increased by a bit....
I am glad and shoul;d be contented that i dint fail any...
Thank God :)

Few more weeks to my birthday...
What should i wish and hope for???
-digital photo frame
-a com table
-a thumbdrive
-nike water bottle
-more clothes
-many places and amazing rides that i hope and wish to ride on.
-a I-phone
and etc..............................................
- and of course boyfriend safety :))

results

2010-03-22T23:56:00.002+08:00

Today being a monday which mean its the start of my holiday for 1 month.
Officially start my vacation now on this very day.
Now i am just waiting for my results to be released...
Hopefully i can pass everything i dun expect much but just pass and dun have to repeat or take any supplementary paper.

Its going to be 12mn soon,
But then i have yet to sleep...
Because adrenaline rush is running very fast....
Worrying about someone...
Thinking about results....
Angry and upset with the hurt i get from a friend of mine...
And etc..................................................
Haiz now i know the true meaning of a close friend that say can rely on but the fact is its a fake....
Family,boyfriend and my dearest joanna is still the best :)

Finally meet up with baby dear after 2 weeks of mugging for exam :))

2010-02-25T23:09:00.003+08:00

Today being the last paper....
And of course i am happy that its the last paper,
which means its time for abit of relaxation before work actually starts on Monday :(
SGH here i come!!!
Had YOG briefing today after a 2hour paper, only 4 of us selected to go...
Dinesh, Me, Vithya and Yong Yee...
And guess what 3 days of training is during my birthday, so sad la :((
Cant really celebrate my 22nd :((

Anyway something happy to share :)...
Finally 2 weeks of not meeting up with each other finally we met up just now...
Love you sweetheart :)
Coming down all the way from somewhere so far just to meet me despite how tired you are...
You touched my heart today and thanks so much...
A moment spend with you to talk and pour out our sorrow to each other was good...
Dont worry dear everything is going to be alright :))

We have set so many plans and i cant wait to go out with you and celebrate, chill and etc....
Cant wait to celebrate my birthday with you :))
Daphy miss you...LOVE YOU BABY :))

i miss you dearest

2010-02-24T19:21:00.002+08:00

Yipee last paper tomorrow...
Wow time past really fast , exams for this semester have come to an end :))
As for the results i am just gonna leave it to God to grade me....
23rd March it will be revealed:))

Today was phaermacology paper out of so many paper this is the only paper that i have confidence in getting good grades...the rest was like total utter rubbish and inhuman...
But what to do just have to hope for the best....
Yipee after this i can enjoy though there is attachment coming up on monday...
Either tomorrow after paper or friday will be going out with dearest and enjoy!!!
Maybe celebrating my advance birthday before he fly off...
If not means hopefully he celebrate when he returns which means a Belated birthday...
Anything will do so long he celebrates with me :))

Tomorrow is Social and health psychology...
Hmmmm which to study first?
I am still slacking here....
Will have to start soon...
Cannot neglect my last paper...
Daphy must do well...
Dearest thanks for motivating me with your messages...
~loves~

Your voice brighten me up

2010-02-22T14:35:00.003+08:00

Decided to blog though i am suppose to be resting now and study later...
Yesterday was a tough night where i got to squeeze every single details of bio notes into my tiny little brain....
Slept at 130am and woke up at 5am just to revise a little....
Headed to school at 830am...
Saw a road accident which happened right before my eyes while uncle was driving me to school...

Reached school and headed off to exam hall...
last minute decided to read through Nutrition thought it wont come out...
But nothing is impossible, it really came up the topic that was least expected...
2 hours paper i sat through it and having about a head full of them left in the exam hall...
I dint wanna give me i keep reading the questions over and over again because no matter what i cant afford to fail any module....
Then was lunch with Dinesh, Wendy and Monica....
Home-ed at 1205 took 159...
Wasnt in the mood for anythings since 2 days ago...
Sob and sob dint wanna share with anyone else...
Reached home, No one was home...
Stared at the 4 walls and decided to call dear....
Spoke to him alittle and he had to go off....
But i am glad he spoke to me and let me say what i have to say....
And he was nice enough to ask if i was alright and if his calling was a happy thing for me...
Indeed i felt happier hearing to his voice, knowing that he cares for me....
He still vocalized that he want me to be happy and sometimes he really duno how to make me a happier person....
But i affirmed him and told him told he did a big part by cheering me up...
I love you my dearest :))

Ok i gtg now and sleep...
Gonna start mugging later....
PPR and Medical sociology paper tomorrow...
Whole load of topics to study and understand...
I am lifting all my results to God to handle it and i know he will make ways to make me pass...
Thanks and loved :))

i still love you D E B

2010-02-18T22:04:00.003+08:00

PICKING UP EVERY SINGLE BIT THAT HAS FALLEN TO THE GROUND

Firstly i have just gotten my Vacation attachment posting sometime last week during my IMH posting and this time round i am Posted to SGH...
Yeah SGH, the hospital that i have always wanted to be in and yes now i am there.
Will be in ward 46 medical ward for 3 weeks and then will be 4weeks of attachment.
Hmmm i duno how will the 4 weeks of holiday be...
Because someone is flying off and i will be celebrating my birthday all alone...
Perhaps NO maybe even celebrate my birthday, just wanna be alone thats all.

And yes CNY is here...
What a bad luck man....First day of CNY fall sick till now :((
Had high fever of 39.5, generalised body ache, flu, sore throat and cough...
When my fever became bad i went to the 24hrs doctor and it cost me 73 bucks just because is PUBLIC HOLIDAY.
But its really no choice and i had to see the doctor.
The fever was killing.
Till today i have yet to recover...am down with diarrhoea.
Went to the doctor for the 2nd time today...
And daphy is suspected to have influenza virus....
Damn unlucky sia.
But then anyway thanks to my special someone for constantly calling me as and when he is free because he is the only one who calls and check on me....love you my dear :))
Nobody else cares.
I love you my dear thanks for caring for me.
Though there is ups and downs at time between us but still i love you for who you are....
Take care and misses.

Tomorrow is going to be my first day of exam...
I have yet to finish studying...
starting with adult nursing tomorrow....
Hmmmm i hope i can do the paper and let God take control of all situation....
I dun expect much just a pass and i am more than happy....

IMH posting rocks :))

2010-02-13T01:43:00.005+08:00

Suppose to say goodnight by now but i still cant get to sleep though i worked afternoon shift today...
2 weeks of posting in IMH have come to an end....
I started of very afraid to work in that environment although i have been there before during my ITE days....
everything was just fearful....
but after 2 weeks have passed....
Many things have happened and many experiences/encounters that i have seen and i am touched by it....
I learned a lot although it a short 2 weeks of elective posting.
I miss the staff,
i miss the ward
and most importantly my dearest patients :((

Just imagine 1 piece of precious rocher shared by 3 people...
Thats what my patient did....
I am proud of them and this have certainly showed me the true meaning of SELFLESSNESS!!!
Even we as normal human being dont share things that are precious to us and yet these people are the ones who display selflessness in their life....
Today being our last day afternoon shift people wrapped sweets with ANG BAO and gave it to our patients....
Some were touched and dint bear to see us leave....
Without us they wont have people to play with them,
talk to them,
listen to them,
Or give them encouragement or support....
Just imagine their life there.
Now all i can say is i missed my patients,
their smile,
their cheers,
their singing,
their dancing and most importantly
what they have taught me!!!
I MISS YOU 33B...
GET WELL SOON, AND MAY GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU AND NO MATTER WHAT WE LOVE YOU ALL ALWAYS!!!
And i love and miss working with my 33B groupmates....DINESH,WENDY,RIZWAN and KENNY!!! Thanks for the great posting its great having you guys!!!

Anyway since now its 1.57am,
Its CNY EVE wishing all a HAPPY CNY....
Next 2 days will be a busy day but still i am going to buck up and study what i can for exam....
Sunday is Valentine's day but i know i will be too busy to celebrate it, so today went out with dearest baby (just a simple one) and thanks for everything.... I love you my dear!
Ok i am going off to study a bit before i knock out and sleep.... GOD BLESS EVERYONE!!!

collage piece done by my patients :))

I LOVE IMH POSTING :))

I HATE YOU SUI SUI

2010-02-04T23:14:00.005+08:00

Thank God for letting me KNOW stuff that have been going around....
I am freaking pissed off so mind me if i use words that i am not suppose to be using....
I seriously cant stand it anymore but complain in here since i can share with no one else....
Ok i shall not mention names or anything here but only alphabets.

One day S was going home, took a bus and said "i am very disappointed",
So T.D asked and started having conversation between themselves and guess what their convo was about me....
Like WTH man, please i in the first please i dun know S well at all its just a HI and BYE friend whom i see around....
What freaking problem is it man....

Actually its quite stupid to have S to tell T.D about me because T.D is my close friend eventually things will be told to me....
Its kinda of stupid of S.
Anyway i think S should just bother about the stuff she/he has around in her own life rather then intruding into people's personal life.....
Why so busy body, why get disappointed when the thing is not about her/him or anything....
I think S should just buzz off and stop intruding people's life,
Grow up and mind your own business...
You are sickening and irritating hypocrite....
Think you are smarter than anyone else...
Sorry to say you are not but just a BUSYBODY....
MIND YOUR OWN FREAKING FUCKING BUSINESS BITCH!!!

THANKS T.D thanks for sharing it with me and making me be aware of what is S talking about me....
Dun worry you will still be my close friend forever :))

imh and everything have been resolved

2010-02-01T20:40:00.004+08:00

Last 2 weeks was my posting at TTSH...
Ward stuff and fellow working mates were patience and caring people.
Haha and some thing good is that i can claim allowance for my 2 weeks posting. Yipee!!!!

This week, tdy being my first day at IMH posting everything is great....
The people whom are in the same cubicle as me and the loveable boys who are our girls hero, protecting us when a danger signal was coming.
My class guys are cool :)
Anyway being first day at IMH, I admit i am that timid girl who have fear of every patient....
When they come towards my direction i will be very paranoid....
I will start walking away and hide behind the guys.
Seriously my phobia from ITE IMH posting till now have not recovered yet.....
Now im in the acute side and i hope as days goes i will be able to be proactive and learn things and also meet to my objectives....

Today we were watching videos and some inspirational short clips too....
and this were the things that was shown to us....

The one who takes your hand and touches your heart is a true friend
We seldom think of what we have but always think of what we miss
Don't cry because it's over but laugh because it happened
What happens, happens for a reason
The more precisely you plan, the harder destiny will hit you
Don't make an effort because the best thing happens when you least expect them
Then greatest event ain't the loudest, but the most quiet hours
The most difficult lesson to learn is: Which bridge in life to use and which to break off
Everybody sees how you seem, however only some know who you are
He who like to have something he never had, will have to do something well, that he hasn't done yet
Perhaps God would want you to become acquainted with different people in the course of your life, so that when you meet the right ones, you can appreciate and be grateful for them
Plan for tomorrow but live for today
Love doesn't require two people to look at each other, but that they look together in the same direction
Life is drawing without an eraser

After work was Thomson Park to have a good chat with someone of course :))
I thank god for giving me the courage to talk to him again and letting him know how i felt...
I felt so much better.
Thanks for sharing part of your story too...
and i hope we will not hide any moe things from each other and also unhappiness within us should be met up and talk about...
Rather then telling people around us....
They may seems trustable but remember people cannot be judge by their appearance.
So as of today we learn from our wrongs, mistakes and etc as of today....
I STILL LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!

THE SPY NEXT DOOR

2010-01-15T15:45:00.003+08:00

THE SPY NEXT DOOR movie with Dear today.
A cool show and thanks for the movie dear :))
Things seems a little better now....
But i still feel insecure....
Should i, or shouldnt i?

dear went to work and i fectched him there

2010-01-12T00:48:00.003+08:00

Sunday send dearest to work.
I cant sleep the whole night, so decided to wake up early and send him to work at 8am....
Ok things isnt the same anymore...
I really feel damn disappointed, tell me what to do??

avatar in 3d

2010-01-08T16:09:00.003+08:00

Watched AVATAR IN 3D today with dearest :))
Its a great show indeed.
Its been a long time since we last watched a movie...
Since End Nov or Dec i guess...
But thank God for allowing time today.

After that wa Home sweet home for me because i was really tired and so went home and sleep.
Body system have been bad lately.
Lost tons of weight and dearest actually commented that i lost quite a bit of weight.
Anyway dearest Boy i am still waiting for my IKEA trip :)))
Soon K???

Next week going to be last week of school before attachment starts....
Then will be CNY but sad to say during CNY got to study like mad....
All the best to all who celebrate CNY.

Evening time will be meeting up with Joanna and Nick at Junction 8....
We finally catch up after so long....
Confining and helping each other to deal with difficulties in our lives especially for me at this point of time of searching.....
I feel lost, i cant deny.
I feel out of place, i cant deny.
I feel left out, i cant deny too....
Many factors are affecting me right now but still i am trying to stay positive and act the way i usually am....
God please show me the way.

shed fresh blood for the first time :(

2010-01-05T23:39:00.003+08:00

Today only had 2 lessons, tomorrow too but thursday and friday is going to be elearning days.....
Had Bio for 1 hour then was looooooong break again...
My timetable is like that for this 2 weeks before attachment starts....
So long break as usual went out......
Nothing special but ya a short catch up and thats all....

Met Ms Chia my lecturer for stats and Research method.....
Everything seems ok especially statistic...thanks to Wendy!!!!
Now what is left is:
Tutorial 3 CT SCAN and antacid- DONE!!!
Behavioural Science- Left daphy part not done :(
Statistics- more or less done!!!
Research Method- Literature review :(
Health Psychology- DONE...thanks to Monica!!!

Everything seems ok only some touching up to be done and my group will be done with all the project and then our main focus is going to be for ATTACHMENT and EXAMS REVISION!!!
I wanna get my place in SGH!!!
I want to be sponsored!!!!

Was just feeling emotionally down....
So decided to go to the toilet, bathe and cool down.
Shed before i headed for the shower....
And guess what i shed FRESH BLOOD!!!
Oh my, its my first time having this problem...
Dare not tell anyone even my love and mum doesnt know....
Scared my trip to Thailand will be affected if i complain that i am unwell.....
I wanna go to Thailand no matter what!!!
Joyce advised to go to the doctor at least.... so i will do so tomorrow.
Hope its nothing serious.
Because i shouldnt be losing blood at this time especially when my Anaemia condition is worsening badly....
God please help!!!

Thailand trip discussion

2010-01-04T20:28:00.002+08:00

Today being back in school after a 2 weeks break....
School is rather tiring today....
I wasnt feel well in school today the whole day but thank God i manage to pull through the whole day....
Morning reached school at roughly about 745am.....
Then was 3 hours of tutorial and presentations till 11am...
Then was break from 11am till 5pm so my project group went to the library to do our project which is due soon.....
At 4pm had Thailand meet up with the group and discuss on the ACCOMODATION, ITINERIES and etc.....so exciting!!!!!
Cant wait for the trip and i know i am going to experience home sick cz i haven been to overseas with my friends and more over i will be going for 1 week this time.....

Today school i really felt so weak and i hardly want to say anything....
Just wanted to be left alone and at the same time i am disappointed too :(
Due to some stuff :((
Ended school at 6pm and was home sweet home from YCK.

Feel so tired now....
Gonna do my project and send to the respective people and sleep asap...
I am seriously very very tired.
I feel lethargic:((
Maybe cz of the WBC increasing and RBC depleting and losing :(
I feel uncomfortable and weak :((

low WBC and RBC

2010-01-03T18:25:00.009+08:00

WELCOME 2010!!!!!
Have yet to make my new years resolution....
Got to think soon!!!!
And work towards it!!!

Today also mark the last day of my 2 weeks term break...
Tomorrow is back to school at 8am :((
2 weeks of school and i will be back at TTSH for attachment....
Its been 11 days since we last met up.
I have been having hard time to deal with my own emotions and pretending that everything was alright for me....

Finally got to tell mum about my trip to Thailand but it seems like she isnt receptive and comfy for me to go :((
She is like How if this and that so ya i am kinda of disappointed but no matter i will still persist on asking her.....
I wont give up!!!
I have never been to a trip with any of my friends so since this is the cheapest trip i hope she will let me go....

Past few days i have been falling sick every night....
From rapid BP sudden decreased...
To Chest pain...
And later found out that my WBC is low and my RBC is discoloring badly....
Plus as you all know my blood count have been relatively low too....
What will happen to me...This is always the question i will ask myself every night before i sleep....
Therefore that explains my breathlessness and prone to infection :((
I am scared to share this with anyone at the moment except my crying to my LOVE.
Thanks for the concern dear.
Love and miss you lots :((
i wanna watch AVATAR with you :((

our 6th months my dear :))

2009-12-28T12:15:00.003+08:00

Its my last week of semester break....
Next week is back to school for 2 weeks and then will be back to school...
Many presentations will be on so ya daphy will be a busy girl i guess :((

This 2 weeks have been a busy weeks for me...
Especially when Great Granny passed on to somewhere better :((
A healthy 100year old old woman, due to 6 days of puenmonia left to somewhere better.
Today suppose to join Fendi's group in school for Thailand trip meeting after their Landon trip payment at 1pm....
But then got to go for wake with Mummy so ya cant be there with them...
Tomorrow is another day of tiring day....
Cz its the funeral day where long procession and prayers will be ongoing from afternoon till about late evening....
And yes outing after that:
WEDNESDAY (30/12/09)-Vanessa in the afternoon which is to be confirm and Joyce in the evening for steamboat :))
THURSDAY (31/12/09)- Mallory, Rachael, Genevieve and Desiree + most likely count down with Dear after that :))
FRIDAY (01/01/10)- ITS A NEW YEAR WHERE NEW CHAPTER OF LIFE BEGINS!!!
SATURDAY (02/01/10)- nothing on i guess!!!
SUNDAY (03/01/10)- Last day semester break which means its back to school tomorro...but glad that i am hanging with Joanna in the afternoon just to chill and relaxs before schedule gets busy for me again.....

Haiz im so bored now...
No one is at home...
waiting for mum to come back, then after that will be to granny wake.
Hmmmmm i miss you my dear....

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2009-12-24T14:36:00.004+08:00

Yesterday night at about 1030pm received a call that my great grandma passed away....
The last time i saw her was during Chinese New Year last year....
Im surprised that my great grandma is still alive till 23rd Dec 2009,1030pm....
Aged 100+ staying a small HDB flat in Changi.....

In a few hours time its going to be MERRY CHIRSTMAS for all.
Everyone rushing for gifts, making of cards and etc....
For me i am rushing too....
Slept at 4am this morning and woke up at 11am....
Just dun feel the mood of Chirstmas this year think its because of the tight schedules that i have been having.....

Yesterday met up with Dear boy....
Gave him his Christmas Gift (which cost me a bomb)...
Haha but so long he likes it i will be happy :)
A senniheizer headphone for him...
Something that he have been wishing for few months back.
And this Chirstmas finally he got what he wanted :))
MERRY CHIRSTMAS BABY :))
Then of course he asked me what i want for Chirstmas...
I really dun have anything in mind.....
I dun asked much from people.....
So he decided to bring me to IKEA one day to buy something for my room and to revamp my room....
So ya i am really forward to the IKEA trip with him :))
Love you my DEAR :))

Tonight after midnight service its nick's house for Christmas party....
Till next morning....
And yes then it will be morning meet up :))
After that is home sweet home to get ready for Lunch with Family :)))
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL :))

Excess MAGIs camp

2009-12-21T15:08:00.008+08:00

From 18th to 20th December last weekend was eXcess Retreat at STRH :))
Camp was really great having to bond with my girls :)
This camp was a self discovery camp ...
i thank God for letting me go for this camp with a purpose set for me.
Felt reluctant to go at first but ya now i have found out the reason why i am called to go.
Its all Daphy's negligant.

First day i was late for camp, because had a 1 hr lecture to attend in school...
Reached at about 1230pm so i missed the first part of camp...
Then was a Mount Faber activity and it was tiring walking up slope with my leg aching from the pulau ubin trip the day before.
But i manage to go through it with the help of perseverance.
Did media/worship experiment and project for the camp and as usual daphy was lost most of the time.
Was previously in Fine Art team and now i am working on Missonary side that have yet to be revive.
So ya i am lost because i am new to media.

2nd day was a day to ponder over our rejection in life...
Went from door to door to do christmas carolling and giving people chrsitmas cheers.
It was a great experience, having to knock on strangers door and evangelising to them despite our fears.
Everyone did it willing and had God's grace in them to make things possible and successful.
Seeing many of my members being able to step out of their comfort zone makes me feel that God is really answering prayers of the individuals.
I faced many rejections in life since the time i was born and being brought into this world....
Parents dint wanna acknowleage me as their beloved daughter till at a later stage in life.
Rejected God when i was 14 years old due to relationship and doubted him.
And many many more rejections.
So that very night as a prayer warrior with other of my leaders we prayed for our members and then we leaders offered prayers to one another.
Thank God for actually sending Joanna up to me walking up to me and asked if i need to be prayed over..
And of course i wanted because of many factors.
So Joanna and also Sharon came over and prayed over me that night during the healing session to let me accept inner healing and to let me resolve conflicts with myself and all.....
Its quite hard for me to accept who am i today and having doubts about why God actually send me to this world with multiple illnesses.
I haven been thinking positively lately.
All i needed was support from people to see me though my rough times.
Thats all i need.

At night i spoke to Jo about how i feel about camp....
Its been a long time since i had heart to heart sharing with her about things.
This very night i had a terrible chest pain and it led me to be drowsy without me knowing and knocked out.....
My body when all numb and couldnt utter a word to jo when she asked questions...
She prayed over me and i thought it was a dream or something....
I felt touched by my dearest sister praying over me and i felt better.
Thanks my beloved sister :)

3rd day of camp was more on a closure...
Had affirmations,lighting up of the candles and short video clips.
My chest pain acted up today, i think the infection is getting worst as days goes by slowly...
Thanks Joanna, sharon and Nicholas for showing their concern i really appreciated it so much...
Ended camp at about 6pm and then headed off to Vivo city for Carl's junior dinner.
Dear boy suppose to pick me up from Vivo but ya disappointment actually hindered my happiness....
Was really disappointed having to wait and getting no respond till late.
So after dinner headed home with Joanna and she bus-ed home with me....
Had heart to heart sister's affirmation....
Love you my sis :)

Come to think of it i really miss camp now.....
Overall camp was great with the great people around :))
Miss my dear boy, my dearest sister JOANNA, and everyone who are part of my life journey...
Misses :)

Pulau Ubin Trip

2009-12-17T21:58:00.006+08:00

Today skipped 1hr pharmaco lesson and i happily went to Pulau Ubin with my Baby Boy :)
Haha...A day a Pulau Ubin was fun and exciting :)
To say the truth i have never been to Ubin before even in my Primary and Secondary school days.
I have always wondered what and how Pulau Ubin looks like.
Finally i get to go today after so long.
Took a Bumboat at the cost of 5dollars for a To and Fro journey.
Was starring at the sea as the boat drove and...
Woah guess what i could see the layer of oil being accumulated at the water....Yuck :S
When we reached there we both were kinda of lost...
Took the map at the information kiosk and headed straight to OUR DREAM BICYCLE RIDE :)
Guess what baby boy was quite surprised that Daphy can ride bicycle STEADILY :)
Haha he underestimated my ability man.... Now you know i can ride a bicycle my dear:))
Anyway, Rented 2 bicycles and started riding UP AND DOWN SLOPE....
And Daphy nearly met into many accidents...
Firstly i dun noe how to use BRAKES on the bicycle... i always use my feet to stop the bike.
Secondly i nearly ride off the cliff and get a severe head injury...
Thirdly i cant ride down slope because i dun noe how to use the brake....
But out of all this Daphy manage to survive..
because everytime baby dear is always there to come to my rescue grabbing me before the accident actually happened :)
Thank baby dear for saving my life :)

Then as we ride and ride and ride till we got tired we stopped at a beach and rested at about 1pm :)
We ride passed many kampong houses and as we ride in my mind they was many thinking and my mind started to run wild....
Thinking of how it would be if i were to stay in such environment?
We could see smoke coming out from the kampong as they were cooking... As we were feeling tired, having the aching symptoms and many mosquitoes bites (Esp on daphy only)
we decided to settle down and pitch up our tent together...
When the Sun was setting down we decided to make full use of our bicycle and travelled down to wetland together.....
Held hands and walk up this tree top walk:))
The scenary was so cool that we started to take photos :)
When it was at abt 5 we headed back to the bicycle kiosk and returned back to main land....
A trip to Pulau Ubin was cool and how i wish i can go back there once again. The sweetest moment had with my baby boy at Pulau Ubin :))
Hope there is more to come :)

THE ENTRENCE OF PULAU UBIN :))

OUR RED BICYCLES:)

THE TREE TOP WALK:)

I MISS OUR TRIP THERE WHEN IS OUR NEXT ONE :))

orchard, somerset, home sweet home...

2009-12-16T16:38:00.006+08:00

A short day in school today....
Pulau Ubin trip was suppose to be today but cz ms aisha proposed for a lab lesson.
But anyway tomorrow its PULAU UBIN day :))
Had school from 11am today then was every sub group statistics data collection....
Yesterday was some temperature taking data...
Today was height/weight, length of outstretched arm iszit equal to the height, and BP taking.
I put on 5 kg and decreased height of 1cm.....
And my BP is like relatively low...100/50
Anyway everyone seems to be rushing their stats and research method project....
After everything was done met up with DEAREST for lunch and then headed down to Orchard.
Then when we reached Orchard he realised that the building was at Somerset...Silly boy of mine.
Anyway we walked to Somerset from Orchard, while we were walking we decided to do some window shopping.
Went to Orchard Ion and 313@somerset...
Finally i know where is 313@somerset which was mentioned in Sarah's bloggie :)
Walked around to do some window shopping, catch up here and there and then home sweet home...
It was nice of my dearest to actually send me home today...
Thanks dear!!!!

After tomorrow's Ubin trip....
Friday to Sunday i will be over @ st teresa retreat house (STRH) for my camp and there goes my personal time....
I am really reluctant to go for this camp, dont ask me why cz i myself duno why.
Usually i would be excited for any camps just to get out of house...
But this time round its different i dun feel any excitement :((
Until today i cant think of any reason why am i feeling this way.

Next week is going to be Christmas week i dun feel Christmas is coming anytime soon too...
Its feels like i am in my own land...
All is hope and wishes to do now is to spend time myself and with my loved ones....
Just yearning for a longer personal time.
I WISH....

from Joanna msn message...it struck me

2009-12-14T21:51:00.002+08:00

After blogging, saw this words on my dearest sister msn title....
and it struck me....
I was the someone who is in need....
I am someone who feels brokeness within me right at this moment.....
Feeling the emptiness....
All i need is love from my love ones and saying things that i wish to hear to brighten me up...
Thats all i need :((

WELCOME IN THOSE IN NEEDS
THOSE WHO ARE BROKEN
THOSE WHO JUST NEED SOME LOVE

knife that pierced thru my heart

2009-12-14T21:19:00.005+08:00

A happy talk with my new found friend SARAH ANNE WONG!!!
A nice girl to talk to, to pour out my unhappiness and most importantly getting to know each other right from the start :)
Ok saying this right from my deepest heart...
I really felt that a knife pierced through my heart and i could feel the pain as my heart beats every second....
I cant deny, I do feel jealousy within me today....
Its just the close intimacy that i saw today that makes me think this way...
After telling you how i feel you say SHE IS JUST A FRIEND OF MINE and asked me not to worry...
But all i can say is i can just shut up and sealed my mouth from declaring it to you....
But i could hear someone telling me "express your feeling and dun keep it to yourself"...
I really hated myself to say things that will create conflict and fights ove and over again...

Sometimes i really Hope you can understand me and how i feel and all....
I know you care for me right from the start, supporting me in everyway that you can provide me with....
And also taking care of me when my health fails to function like a normal human body...
You carried me to the clinic...
Pampered me with verbal words...
Touch me with messages and used actions to show how much you actually love me from the start.....

I really dun want to restrict you from your circle of friends and rather let you have the freedom to mingle around....
I think there goes the same for me too...
But sometimes seeing how close you are to a particular someone i do feel my negative respond relasped back and i have got nothing to say but just sit in silence.....
I have the habit of just walking away or rather running away from the problem rather than solving it....
I have this habit that i admit i got to change.
Seeing you happy and out of trouble makes me good.
So everything that i am doing for you now is to let you be happy being with me.

Just a short prayer before i end off....
Dear God,
Grant me the strength to get out of my old self, i want to change to be someone who supports.
Let not my mind think negatively rather to be more a positive thinker.
Let everyone around me esp my loved ones (my love,best friend,my family and etc those who are dear to me) to be happy always.
Even if one day i am gone i dun plan to ask much but just make them happy and i will be happy.
Guide me in my studies and to my best of my ability i wanna get the grades i want and hope for constantly....
Grant me my dreams, hopes and wishes that i have been praying for and let me lead a good life ahead...
I love you.
AMEN....

Thomson meet up :))

2009-12-12T23:45:00.005+08:00

This week is like a killer week :(
Has lots and lots of ICAs....
But nevertheless i had 1 special someone who have been seeing me through my this exam period and motivating me and helping me get good grades :)
Its no other than my dearest.
Monday: Biological Science Practical (40%) - Its was ok as compared to last semester.
Tuesday: Research Method (60%) - B
Wednesday: Clinical Laboratory practical (70%) - was not being prompted much except once.
Thursday: Pharmacology (30%) - was managable.
Friday: Statistics (60%) - A
But last of all i made it through :)
And now finally its weekends once again.....
Now I get to take a break from studies and sleep,rest,meet up,watch tv,slack and do everything that i like and its been a long time since i spend some time for myself.

Today was OUR meet up at Thomson park...
Had endless talking session under the stars, chilled, slacked and kept each other laughing :)
What a memorable night!!!!
Tomorrow its lunch meet up.....
Hehe going to eat Macdonalds for our BRANCH!!!!
Anyway, next week is going to be my last week in school then will be 2weeks break....
Yipee cant wait for my JB and Pulau Ubin trip with my dearest boy next week :))
*double happiness*
Ok im going off to sleep....
See you all here soon again....
:)))

motivating from you, my love

2009-12-10T22:40:00.003+08:00

Today was suppose to be our last paper but due to some unforseen circumstances.
Tomorrow having statistic and everything will be over for now....
Met up after school and yes we spend our moments together after so long.
Then was home for me to rest and started slacking at home till i decided to take a nap.
Dearest called and i woke up thinking that it was only 7pm but the fact is that its already 830pm....
Woke up did adult nursing research and now i am practicing stats.
This semester i am feeling more motivated having someone to help me along and guiding me in my studies.

Yesterday was lab and yes i got a skill that i dint hope for....
Night before told Bestie that i wanna pray that God will grant me a skill that i wanted and let me pass...
My prayer goes like this" God i pray that you can grant me strength for my practical tomorrow, let me draw a skill that i can score in and pass with good grades"
And in deed i passed with compliment from a strict OT lecturer!

Next week timetable is going to be a hour class only for everyday.....
Finally i can rest and do things on my own and relaxz...
Excess camp is next weekend, so fast la.....
After that its going to be Christmas and a new year begins...

i miss you my dear.

i miss you

2009-12-03T22:48:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was a huge quarrel once again...
Ok we were on the verge on breaking up....
Of course we both cant bear to let go though cz we have got this attachment that we have for each other for the past 6 months.

For the next 4 nites he is going to be on night shift...
Poor boy.
Today he is he greatest he drilled me like mad for like 1 hours for pharmacology during statistics and guess what i SCORED WELL. THANKS BABY!!!
And ended up we got same grades with same marks.

Hmmmm.... i just wanna say i miss you alot and ya i miss our outings...
The games we played together...
The private time we had together...
The talk we shared with one another...
And not forgetting ur love and concern from you was never erased.
:((

sick and dear brought me to the clinic

2009-12-01T20:53:00.002+08:00

Today is a sucky Tuesday....
Went to school i was ok...
But when the clock strike 10am i started to come down with bad flu and later followed on with a fever :(
I felt so uncomfortable.
The worst thing was that tomorrow is going to be my ever first paper in this semester....
I am sick...how can i concentrate on my studies and get good grades...
Everytime exams i will fall sick.

After school at about 3pm, dearest followed me home and took me to my family doctor nearby my house.
Thanks dear for travelling and accompanying me.
On MC for a day but i still got to go school tomorrow cz its Nursing lab theory paper tomorrow.
Dint study much at all and went to sleep right after i read like a few pages knowing that Ms Aisha will be going through some questions.
Skipping pharmacology tomorrow cz fever isnt subsiding.
I am feeling super duper ill.

THE MORE I SEEK YOU

2009-11-25T20:09:00.002+08:00

School have been rather hectic....
Pray that God can be my support to see me through...
Just felt i haven been putting in much effort in my course...
God please give the strength and be my comforter...
As i was thinking about school this song came across to my mind...
Wanna make this as my Quiet time song every night...

{THE MORE I SEEK YOU}

The more I seek you,
The more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you

I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming

death is nearing, m i able to accept???

2009-11-23T23:31:00.003+08:00

Its about a week since i last posted my entry.
weekends were great.
Dearest was working at a condo at Aljunied this week.
Get to spend time with my dearest boy at his work place during lunch.
Haha was being the DELIVERY WOMAN :)
Met him up for lunch, enjoyed dearest company and of course our endless talk by the lake :)
Though it was a short time but the company was great.
Worth travelling to aljunied.
And yes today was another day of endless talk :))

Over the weekends watched PARANOMAL ACTIVITY with my 3 cousins and my brother.
Omg the movie made me feel dizzy and nausea.
But then the plot was good.

Ok some updates about school...
I feel like i am still in my holiday mood....
Dearest boy and and bestie Joanna kept reminding me that i must aim to be the top scorer in my tutorial....
But look at the state that i am in...i am slacking, keep going out, keep relaxing everything except studying....
I need motivation!!!!
Past few days have been thinking about the shocking news from my medical check up....
Firstly blood count have been decreasing..
After blood test on Friday i had "floating" effect in school...
And my tutorial mates were so concern and i appreciated them alot.....
Dearest wanted to send me home after school but then i dint wanna trouble him so forced him to go home....
Thanks for the APPLE JUICE and CHEEZY when i was feeling faint.
Thanks dearest sleepyhead boy:))

Few days back met up with my Bestie Joanna Lee Hui Ling at Bugis...
Its been quite sometime since i last met her up and chat....
Hehe....

Anyway i love my loved ones...
I love spending time with them....
I want to keep them accompanied more before its too late and will i leave with regrets???
Death is nearing for me :((

THE SISTER'S KEEPER MOVIE :))

2009-11-17T21:13:00.004+08:00

TODAY IS A HAPPY DAY :)
Started off with a quarrel but then its all just a small issue and i think i am the cause of it.....
Nevermind that is besides the point.
I missed school today and dearest went to school to attend bio class and later came to join me for my medical appointment at SGH.
Met at 10am to head down to Vivocity to get our Movie tickets to THE SISTER'S KEEPER MOVIE:))
Movie at 1pm so we hanged around vivo and kept each other entertained and then played some games....a happy day indeed :))
Dear wanted to buy a creative headphones but he doesnt have the money so he planned to work as hard to earn as much as he can...
Anyway movie at 1pm...went in at 1245 and the cinema was empty...
The movie is really touching and it caught the both of us...
During the movie i questioned myself a lot......
Question about death and loved ones around me.
Anyway its quite nice having to watch this movie with someone special:))
After movie was lunch cum dinner at SGH...
He accompanied for my Gynaecology and heart centre appt after that we Wanted to go to Henderson walk/mount faber but then we dint know the way there and it was getting late.
So headed to our secret hiding place....
He sent me off of course then then when i reached home i was shagged...
Blood test and all makes me feel faint and weak...
Therefore i couldnt head down for leader's meeting.....
DEAR I LOVE YOU :)

emotional break down

2009-11-15T12:05:00.004+08:00

Its Sunday once again.
Came back rather late yesterday night...
Morning was a good start with my dearest but then after that i dun know why dint i understand him and started throwing tantrum...
Felt bad after that as i reflect back about how i actually reacted and not understanding him...
I felt really bad.
Came back home was emotionally down cried to myself in my room and texted Joanna.
So met her in church and pour out my emotional dullness to her....
Felt bad about being demanding in my relationship with my dearest sleepy head boy...
Quite troubled with my health status and financial side...
Stress from school studies and also my sponsorship crisis...
Every thing seems so over whelming....
I really feel emotionally down for the past few days.

Then after meeting from 2 to 4 in church was Alpha course graduation day...
It was a cool night with the people....
But i dint enjoy much cz was expecting for him to call....
But guess he was sleeping and too tired from night shift....
Jo made me understand and ask me not be angry for such small thing....
So she confiscated my hp and prevent me from being distracted from the phone.
After that was to Jo's house to chill till like 12am and was home for me.
I miss you dearest boy, really i meant it.

And today was another day of emo-ing....
Yesterday was the cause of everything, everything was built up emotionally....
So both of us were in our emo state....
But he was really nice trying to text me every minute just to kept me accompanied though he was at work....
Tuesday is going to be a day out for us....
Cant wait for that day to come soon...
Going to watch movie SISTER'S KEEPER movie at Vivocity :))

"DAPHY be happy and stop throwing tantrum.... Be understanding!!!!"

SGH sponsorship...

2009-11-12T18:54:00.003+08:00

Another week is coming to an end....
This week was a SICK week for me...
My heart problem is acting up again...
The worst pain was during my cousin-in-laws 26th on Tuesday.
Ate good food at TURF CITY OWEN RESTAURANT.....
Suddenly my chest was like "someone just punched" feeling right through my heart...
I kept quiet and thought it will be ok after awhile but it dint and the pain persisted on till about 15minutes....
I couldnt breathe too :((
And till today the pain is still there whenever i take a deep breathe each second....
I have made an appointment with my doctor at SGH and hopfully that can refer me back to my Heart Centre doctor...

And yes Tomorrow is TGIF :))
I have got so many work load piling up like mountain....
And the best thing is that God have bless me with money which means i got to support myself when i sign the agreement with SGH.
Last friday i submitted dearest and my application...
Then Wednesday was interview.
Then today had a message from SGH HR saying that my application and interview have gotten through successfully....
My plan was to work in SGH right after i graduate so its no harm taking the bond now too...
Every month i have gt allowance even holiday i have got money.....
Yipee...
Anyway dear got his sponsorship too in SGH :))
Double happiness :))

Now i got to find guarantors...
So gotten my dearest Joanna and my eldest cousin to support me and make sure i dun break the bond....
Dun worry i wont disappoint you guys :))
Tomorrow after school and sat morning is going to be OUTING DAY with you....
I am so looking forward to it....
I miss you though we meet in school everyday....
On wednesday YOU made me cried so much that my eyes are swollen,
It was RAINING HEAVILY YESTERDAY (CRIED)....

Ok i am off to sleep for awhile got to complete my piled up assignments.....
Ok i am off....
BYE :))

Crazy start of the week

2009-11-09T21:51:00.006+08:00

Wow its 4th week of school this week
and soon it will be all the tests and presentations due date....
Oh man DAPHY its time to pull your sock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Start doing some thing to attain your goal :))

Was on the phone with Joanna till 1pm and got sleepy after that....
But then i told myself i must do myself a favour by studying for my pharmaco test, by hook or by crook i got to finish studying.
Studied pharmacology the whole night through till about 3am and slept till 715 and left for school (Obviously i was late)
Worst thing is that mum caught me leaving my lights on throughout the whole night.....and got scolded by my mum :((
My mood went bad again this morning after getting reprimanded...
Was having a really bad temper yesterday too, threw tantram at all my beloved people whom i loved so much....
The person who got it most is of course is MY MR SLEEPYHEAD :((
Sorry dear :((
Made him angry yesterday and yet he still tolerated my nonsense.
But then the cause was known only this morning-my Endometrium shedded blood once again.
That explains why my mood was bad :((

Woke up late for school, but thank God i made it to school on time for my test :)
Cramps started to built up during my second lecture :((
But luckily the 2 tutorials were fun and made me kinda of forget my pain for a short while....
Did some JOHARI WINDOW self awareness thingy for Social Psychology...
Then was some CHARACTER game for PPR....
Guess what was the CHARACTER my lecturer actually paste behind me???? HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haha and my dearest was GARBAGE COLLECTOR!!!!! hahahahah:))))
After that was 3 hours break so Dearest, me, Wendy and Monica headed to Toa Payoh for Burger king lunch!!!!!!!!
We shopped too but dint buy anything...just window shopping!!!!
And after that the pain continued till i end sch at 6pm today...
i was seriously dying in pain :((

Was on the verge of emotional break down during my bio practical tutorial but i controlled myself....
So was just keeping quiet and keep myself occupied by flipping my notes back and front fanning my tears away.....
Thank God lesson ended early so had 1 hour break before last lesson at 5... Slacked outside lecture hall and this is what we did camwhorring.............

:))

Its sunday tmr

2009-11-08T00:32:00.004+08:00

Morning was church from 11am till about 1pm....
Only a few of them turned up for meeting.
Then was SVDP voluntary to do rationings...
it caught me thinking about what my dearest boy and i spoke about mission during lecture this week....
Was asking each other when and where we will be doing mission work and help those less fortunate....
And he was telling me to go do mission work when i am free...
I choked on my reply and said... Ya i am so busy where do i have the time...
Then he say weekends :))
And really this weekend helped in SVDP and it caught me thinking about what he told me and started texting him....
HEY I AM HELPING OUT IN RATIONING NOW AND ITS VOLUNTARY!!!
:)))

After which was out with Maryann after so long...
We haven met up since we left ITE.
And so was mass at St Anne then head for dinner and later we went to orchard and far east for window shopping.
Dint get to buy anything though cz i am currently down on my financial side.
Dearest Boy wanted to give me money last friday but i dint want to accept cz he have been spending a lot on me and its also his hard earned money....
Felt bad taking so ya i rejected...
Thanks dear for offering:))

In a few hours time he is going to work and he have yet to study.
BETTER PULL UP YOUR SOCKS AND START STUDYING!!!!!!!!!
And yes yes wednesday is going to be our interview at SGH HR and after that is movie :))
*double happiness*
Yes we are going to watch THE SISTER'S KEEPERS together :))
Begged him to watch with me no matter what and we agreed to watch on Wednesday :))
Yipee.
And a short update about my grandma....
She have been transferred to Gleneagles Hospital guess its because my mother side family thinks that Government hospital isnt giving any excellent treatment to my grandma so since they have the money decided to let my grandma to have a better treatment in a private hospital.
Thought my dearest boy was going to work at Gleneagles tomorrow but then NO NO he is working at EASTSHORE HOSPITAL tomorrow....humph :((

Ok i am off to sleep now....
wake up call later at 630am and will be staying home till evening time rotting,slacking and mugging till evening time.
PHAMACO test on monday and i have yet to study :((
God please grant me the strength.....
AMEN.

LOVE HAPPENS MOVIE

2009-11-06T20:41:00.004+08:00

It was LOVE HAPPENS movie on Tuesday after school.
The show was cool watching with someone whom you love.
Its about how much you should treasure your love ones before they go right before your eyes..

Just caught me thinking of my loved one who left me to go to another side of the world.
Just how much you actually missed them...
The things you have long wanted to tell them but then its too late now.

Just got my clinical postings...
2 weeks in TTSH 12B surgical then to IMH for 2 weeks....
My posting is so near CNY :((
18th Jan till 12th Feb :((

This week school was great...
Had great companies....
Haha thanks for your jacket my dearest when i needed it and you suffering in lecture hall freezing..
Its once again weekends tomorrow....
Gotta do alot of assignments and studying for alot of modules....
Today was a tiring day for me...
Went to sch...Was Late....
Ended at 12...headed to TTSH HR and SGH HR to submit sponsorships....
Then was bus journey home from Bukit Merah...53 bus stops...
Haha wanted to take bus because i wanna save up and make my bus concession worth it :)
I MISS MY BUS RIDES WITH YOU:))
SUNDAY EVENING ITS EAST COAST PARK if i dun have any plans.
And next week is THE SISTER'S KEEPER MOVIE!!!

im sad and i miss him alot...

2009-10-28T17:55:00.007+08:00

Just yesterday i have decided to make my blog private viewing...
Reason being:
Many things have happened and everyone in class is making me say things that i dun wish to say or declare and things that i promise to keep it in the dark...
Its not easy for me to keep a secret when everyone, in fact majority of the people kept on pestering and forcing me down my throat to speak the truth....
I got to confess that i cant lie or keep secret when people keeps hogging me to say.
That is my greatest weakness.

Feeling kinda of troubled these few days...
Before i go deeper into it i want to thank God for sending my dear boy back to Singapore safely on Monday evening :))
I am really glad he is back which means time spend with him is going to be more i guess...
Thanks for the t-shirt you bought for me from Thailand, i love it...thanks my dear:))
Many things have happened when he came back to school on tuesday...
I just feel that i have hurt him so much by not keeping my promises....
Sometimes i think his reason to ask me to keep it to myself it for good purpose...
Sorry dear if i haven been a great Girlfriend to you...
I really felt quite bad, making you get all those shit from our class mates and project group mates...
The last time you came back from another country after visiting your mum and grandma something also happened and now another incident...
I really felt very sorry about what has happened and i know you are feeling terrible too.

Anyway i Just felt like blogging now because i am waiting for him to contact me...
And yes today its the 28th...
Happy 4th month my dear!!!!
Now i am waiting for his text and will be meeting him...
I just feel like meeting him up and tell him how i am feeling and all and make an agreement...
I really hope he does listen and compromises...
Last few weeks he have been busy entertaining his friend, a friend that came from New Zealand if i dint get it wrong...
I dint pester him that much to keep me accompanied as i know he have his priorities....
Since today being our 4th...he promised to meet me today actually but in the end he had to go out with his this friend cz he is flying off tomorrow morning...
So dear boy have promised me to spend tomorrow night with me instead...
Really hope he dun break his promises again...

I have been rather down lately...
Firstly our movie date have gotten lesser,
Our sentosa trip haven been accomplished,
Our phone calls and sms have lessen quite a bit too...
How i wish time can be turned back and having to spend most of the time with him....
I WANT TIME TO TURN BACK TO HOW WE FIRST BEGIN ...
I MISS YOU MY DEAR.

2 more days and dear will be back

2009-10-24T00:42:00.002+08:00

Its weekends once again...can relax and rest abit..
And monday is CBL1 presentation...will be presenting with Jessica :))
And yes i miss my dearest Boy...
Omg i am missing my dear so much while he is away at Thailand...
I am glad and happy that he email-ed me while he is away...
Cant wait for him to come back soon...
Dear come back soon :((
2MORE DAYS :))

God please be in my midst

2009-10-20T13:41:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was Sissy 12th Birthday...
And today is Jessica 20th Birthday...

Had lessons from 10 to 12 and headed home....
Yesterday was down with flu and today its spreading even worst...
Anyway just for the first few days of school and finally today its the closure...
Eventually someone have to step out and let everyone be happy...
So ya since I had kindly volunteered to leave and also since last semester i had thought of leaving, so leaving was not of a problem to me.
If i leaving can make everyone happy so let it be.
And now i am Monica's group (Waiting to Monica to agree)....
Monica's group is a group who is receptive and welcome people,
So i hope i can accommodate to their needs and adhere to their practice...
adapt to their culture and foster friendship with them :))
That is my first step to getting to know them...
In fact i have been since last semester when i was most of the time left alone.

Since school started i haven been much accepted, there is this awkwardness that i had...
Till today its still like that....
Now the next thing is who should i sit with during tutorial since i have changed sub-group???
Monica's group ( if there is space available) or my previous sub group???
Where should i be???
Was telling my dear about it and he was like 'sit with your new group since you are joining them?"
Then i added on saying " i think sitting in the rubbish bin is the best place!!!"
This silly boy of mine laughed and cheered me up a little after school while i was on my way home :))
Thanks dear :))
Anyway he will be going Thailand this weekend so will be missing him though its only 3 days but ya, its time for him to relax a bit since he have been rather busy lately....
Have a safe journey there and be back quick (Though he haven leave yet) :((
Gonna miss you :((

My nose is running like a water tap....
Ok gonna nap for awhile and hope i get well soon...
So that i can concentrate during lectures and tutorials....

GOD PLEASE BE WITH ME THROUGH THIS PERIOD AND SEE ME THROUGH...
I KNOW ALL THINGS IS POSSIBLE WITH YOUR HELP...
MAKE THINGS WORK OUT AND DUN LET ME REGRET IN DESPAIR....
I KNOW YOU ARE HERE ALWAYS AND FOREVER :)

1 week of not meeting :((

2009-10-18T23:25:00.008+08:00

Its 11.25pm now....
which means when the clock hits 12am its another 12hours more and i will be in school...
School officially starts tomorrow...
Year2 and therefore the stress level will increase even more...
Feel dreaded to go school tomorrow....
I just merely scrape through my Yr1sem2,
"so daphy work hard and no more playing!!!!!!!!!!"
Tomorrow school start 12pm and in between there is super long break before next lesson start at 4pm....
What a horrible time table :((

Anyway something to look forward to tomorrow....
Is that i am going to see my dearest boy :))
Like finally after not meeting up for about a week due to his busy schedule....
And this boy is sick too.....
Take care and Get well soon faster ok?
Dont break your promise of meeting up with me....
Yipee something to look forward to tomorrow rather than just thinking of dreading to school tomorrow...:))

And today was Youth Council meeting...
Suppose to be there but then the aching, fever, flu and sore throat was haunting me....
So ya my best friend Joanna willingly took over me to go for YC...
Thanks Girl :))
If not for you i would be even more sick freezing in council meeting.
And going to school tomorrow is going to make it worst.
Thanks so much for replacing me :))

And ya for the past 1 week i realised that i am putting on fats :((
I wanna lost weight....
Though i have lost like 5kg during this holidays but still i feel i am accumulating fats at the wrong place...
I wanna exercise...anyone willing to go with me???
Swimming???? Anyone???

Anyway i am going to play my ds for awhile....
I cant get to sleep i am thinking about school tomorrow....
Pray that God will see me through my poly life and make it a wonderful one...
Please God.

happy birthday to the THREESOME

2009-10-17T00:29:00.005+08:00

HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY AARON POON :))
HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY RACHAEL WONG :))
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY EUGENE CHIA :))
Wow so many birthdays in one day...can you believe it.
Its always in the month of October where i will be super broke contributing money for various important people....
But i thank God for supplying me when i needed it.

Just got back from Rachael and Eugene birthday celebration...
And now i am down with flu, fever and losing my beautiful voice just like Mallory.
OMG school is starting and I AM FALLING SICK.
Its always a routine...
When school holiday starts i will be sick and it takes about a week to recover....
And in between during my holidays my medical condition will be affected by then....
Then when school is about to start i will be sick again....
Why why why why why why.....
Is my immunity that low?????
(2 more days my dear when all your busy schedules ends and YES we can meet again...YIPEE)

The game we played together

2009-10-15T02:49:00.011+08:00

THE GAME WE PLAYED TOGETHER :))

Yes this is the game we played during our last meet up... Haha i am glad you are happy my dear... 3 more days and everything will be back to our normal routine :))

And yes...OMG past few days was a horror to me...

Cramps nearly killed me...
Back ache nearly killed me and giddiness too....
Applied hot compress, ate panadol and applied oil and etc but still the pain its there....
Its been quite sometime since i last had such painful experience...
This is the disadvantages of being a female and having medical history of anemia...
Every month is like a torture :((
Was suppose to meet my dearest Rachael yesterday but then cramps was so bad that i had to change the plans...
Thanks for understanding girl...
But no matter what i am going to meet Her to celebrate her 20th with her..
Hey girl let plan a day before Sat ok???

Its 2.50am and i am still online and blogging at this hour.
3 more days till school officially starts....
3 more day till we can meet again...
For the past 3days we haven meet only call, sms or chat online....
I miss movie session with you....
I miss having meals with you...
I miss our hanging out at our secret places....
I miss just walking around shopping centres and end up not buying anything....
I cant wait to see you once again and yes WHERE IS OUR SENTOSA TRIP???????

Anyway....I am still trying to get use to the new life habit that i am trying to adapt to..
When school starts its going to be a new cycle where i need to study doubly hard and achieve my goal,
To adapt to my new sleeping timing and to get up early to attend lectures and tutorial.
Coming to know that actually i am going to take year 2 semester 2 modules this coming october i am kinda of scared...
Because firstly i cant even do well in my Yr 1 sem 2 last semester whats more Year 2 sem 2....
Really hope i wont be as lost as the last semester....
I am just aiming to do my best and God to do the rest :))

In a few hours time going to school to get my lecture notes...
And in a few hours time i am going to meet Vanessa Gay for our very first meet up and yes yes we are going to watch movie DARAH...
Omg i am so scared everytime before i step into a cinema to watch horror movie.
And yes i also thank God for clearing up misunderstandings...
Everything is fine now just that i am scared to talk to her now...
But soon the phobia will fade off its just for awhile....
off to bed now....its getting late....
3 more day and everything will be back to the normal routine..

a story from this girl-Daphne

2009-10-11T00:38:00.005+08:00

Just got back from Nicholas Charles party...
And he have finally turned 21 years old...welcome to the club my dear friend :))

Friday night yesterday went to Plaza Sing with Joanna and Freda....
Was kinda of distracted while buying gifts cz was waiting for DEAR to contact me.
Anyway yes HE call to my surprise while i was waiting for Joanna an Freda to appear at PS.
Headed home at 10plus....
NEL-ed with my Best friend Joanna to Serangoon and walked to her bus stop and chatted for a while....
More of a catching up session cz we haven been meeting or talking much recently.
Many things have happen during this one month so ya...CATCH UP WAS GREAT.
Then reached home at 1145pm.
Kept myself occupied while HE was working night shift..
Slept at about 1am but was tossing and turning...
So whole night was texting and calling to keep HIM accompanied.
Officially slept at abt 3plus and woke up like at 930am....

Ooops kinda of late for church cell meeting....
It was raining heavily and was a bit drenched while walking to church.
After cell was Best Friend place and headed to GIFT OF LOVE HOME to find out some stuff about mission......
Then was journey to Nicholas's chalet at Changi Village.
Wow the journey was so far that Jo and i only reached at 8plus....
Dint really enjoy much but kept my smiling face there....
Firstly whole day there isnt phone call or sms from HIM but i understand he is tired from his night shift.....
Secondly its about my own personal issue....

But ya i just needed that extra love and care...
If you all know my condition you all will understand....
Ok its not threatening or scaring but ya its a true story from this isolated girl of yours...
DAPHNE CASSANDRA NG

i miss you my dearest boy

2009-10-09T17:14:00.007+08:00

Its TGIF once again...
Which means my last week of holiday is coming soon and its will be back to school on 19th Oct.
I am kinda of bored now....
HE is taking so long to reply, i am rather irritated and disappointed.
But what to do HE always does that to me..
Still i cant blame him because besides spending time with me he got his other commitments.
Dear I MISS YOU :((

Just few hours ago...Freda left me a text and invited me to go out with Joanna and her... and we are going to meet up and chill...
I am feeling kinda of troubled now so i decided to meet up with them and control my own emotions.
Will be leaving at 630 so ya got to get ready...
See ya :(

COFFEE LATTES....

2009-10-08T00:16:00.003+08:00

On Tuesday went to the doctor nearby my house....
Yes my prolonged rashes doesnt seems to be disappearing....
Its been on since 25th september :((
On Tuesday it got worst so decided to consult the doctor.
Had a jab plus anti histamine medication...hopefully my rash subside soon.
And yes yes no more seafood for me for the time being....
If not daphy is never gonna be pretty with the outbreak of rashes on my face:((
People who go out with me pls DO NOT TEMPT ME!!!!
Because im someone who cant resist temptation especially when it comes to food :((
Yes and now i am on medications.

And some updates about my Aneamia (Iron deficiency), thalaseamia illness that i have been carrying with me for the past 9 years and still ongoing.
Recently just went for my appointment at SGH.
No improvement of course...
I know my own condition even before i go for my check up...
Recently i get breathless very easily...
Chest pain easily upon mild exertion...and etc etc and....
The worst part is my platelets are dropping that is causing me to have bruise easily.
Visible bruises is appearing on my upper legs...
Blood test after blood test every month...
And nothing seems to be improving...
But more and more department doctors are seeing me...
But anyway i am still trying to conquer and fight with my illness....
Though sometimes there is tendency of me to give up but love ones around me are giving me motivation, encouragement and hope to look ahead rather than dwelling in it.
Yes i am a negative person who think for the worst when it comes to medical condition...
But somehow people around me gave me full support :))
But when it comes to me persuading and encouraging my lovely patients under my care...
I somehow can make them think positively....
I duno iszit because i have the gift of talking or maybe God gave me this illness for a reason to do something for the world (for the people) who are in need.
Sharing my experiences with my patients made them think positively.
Many of them thought i am someone who is strong, healthy and comes from a well-to-do family...
But the fact is that i am not that someone whom they think i am....
I have my fragile part in my own personal life and i have my own story too....
I think i am brought to this world with such background for a reason.

I just thought of the time somewhere last year when i was having attachment at SGH during my ITE days....
I was being assigned to a Haematology ward...
Where many patients are like me...same illness but one thing that make us different is that they are either at the peak of recovering or at the peak of facing death....
some how it made me think and ponder how if one day i will be like them....
Will i make it through???
Anyway when i was nursing these patients i could feel their fear and lost and somehow relate to them as i nurse them.
Know their needs and wants and helping them fulfill their last wish....
That is why i have always wanted to work and nurse oncology and haematology patients....
I want to venture my field in nursing blood disorder patients....
Thats my greatest wish as a Staff Nurse after i graduate from my Diploma in NYP...

Ok i think im am talking quite alot....
Just bear with me for awhile because i am trying to pass time.
I am kinda of feeling bored at home now since i reached home at 6pm just now after hospitals hunting.
Anyway on my way for hospital hunting today i saw JEREMY CHUA on the train...
Dint know he is in Singapore thought he flew back to Australia or something already..
We spoke a little..
And i alighted at my designated station....
Oh and yes i had COFFEE BEAN COFFEE LATTE with HAZELNUT...
While THE BOY had COFFEE LATTE PLAIN or with VANILLA cant really remember....
Hehe but anyway thanks dear for the coffee treat :)
Now HE is working...Haiz night shift....
Ok i got to go and sleep soon....
Duno why m i still up at this hour when i need to get up at 7plus 8m tomorrow...
Got to wake up early for BREAKFAST!!!!
Omg now i remembered i still owe Joanna a treat at SUSHI TEI because i neglect her as my best friend, a sister, a companion and a buddy for 7 years...
Lets plan a day soon when we both can k?
Ok i am going off to sleep...
zZzzzzzzzzzzz...........
ENJOY!!!
10MORE DAYS OF HOLIDAY....

SURROGATES MOVIE

2009-10-05T18:50:00.002+08:00

Finally we met up today....
We haven met up since last Thu due to some unforeseen circumstances....
But yeah....
First we went shopping before our movie...
We were taking quite some time to decide what show we should watch so stood at AMK HUB cathay...
Because HE was making fun of me so i MUTE myself and started ignoring him :s
Then HE asked "dear you wanna watch 3D movie?"
But i kept quiet and continue muting.
Then he was like SURROGATES OR MEATBALL.....
Seeing him suffer with his Sinus and sore throat i told answered him "anything that you like"
He was like you dun like action show...
Sci-Fi cum Thriller movie iszit ok for you?
hmmmm and we watched SURROGATE!!!!!
Yes and we watched SURROGATES a awesome show indeed :)
Thanks dear :p
After the show i started imagining stuff like...
How iszit like staying in a country or world with SURROGATED people???
Haha....

Hmmm tomorrow is going to be a boring day again....
He is going to work....
While i rot in the morning and later in the evening is leader's meeting.....
Wednesday might be going for job hunting and sponsorship from hospitals....
1 and a half more weeks of holidays...
Time passby so quickly that i realised i hardly enjoy...
Ok Freda is on her way to my place...
Freddy is coming :))
Ok here she is everyone say HI FREDDY :))

Grandpa's 80th birthday :))

2009-10-04T23:33:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone im back here once again.. Haha sounded abit off anyway ya....
I am bored as usual that is why i am here blogging and waiting for someone...
Yesterday was the ever first eXcess H2o held on Saturday..
Then was followed by Ministry meeting then was Youth mass...
Every Saturday gonna be in church from 10am till 7pm?? or 10am till 5pm earliest??
There goes my Saturday :(( But anyway its good spending with my church friends too...
Ya and yesterday dint go for youth mass because was Grandpa's 80th Birthday celebration.
Went to Parkview Hotel and eat... the food was superb :))
I pinched a bit of seafood to eat and guess what daphy has outbreak of rashes again :((
And yes yes yesterday all the 9 grandchildren that my grandparents have were present.....
Yippee its been so long since we have PERFECT NUMBERS :))
Grandpa must be very happy :))
Then was Home sweet Home at 10pm...

Today attended 1130am mass.
But woke up at 730am just to wake someone up to go work...
And guess what HE woke up at 830am when work starts at 8am...
So ya He cabbed down to work and cost him hell lot of money!!!
Poor Boy :((
Anyway Daphy went to cut hair today at AMK after lunch and i feel contented after cutting it...
Its so much lighter now....
Have been wanting to cut it since June i think but then i cant cut it because needed long hair for my cousin's wedding....
But yeah finally i had it cut!!!!
Woohooooo~

Yes finally spoke to Joyce the tortoise...
Its been ages since we last spoke, since we last met and since we last chat on the phone..
And her birthday is coming soon....
Planning to meet her on her birthday to celebrate and catch up with her most importantly...
So ya finding a date and time that both of us can make it:))
Anyway, i am kinda of tired already...
Now i am just waiting and waiting for someone to come online....
Have been waiting and waiting waiting and waiting....
I am growing old :((
Still waiting

What a Boring day at home

2009-10-02T16:14:00.009+08:00

What a BORING DAY i am rotting at home...
While HE is helping his brother in some stuff :((
I am so tired from calling and smsing....
Now i will the stubborn one not replying to him or giving him miss call till he can convince me and make me happy once again....
Now since Chris have gone overseas he have pass down to me a lot of responsibilities and events to take charge of.....
I hope i can do it all well without any complains.

Was blog hopping today...
And i realized that many of my guys nursing friends especially from ITE are serving the nations now.....
And guess what many of them are in police academy :))
Haha expected them to go into medic or something
but then NO majority are in Police :))
Will they come out and be a Police instead of a nurse ?????
Just curious :p

2 more weeks of holidays...
how am i going to spend it????
Rot at home?
anyway nowadays i have been receiving messages or maybe rumors that people are leaving eXcess....
Just 2 weeks that i haven been around in the group many things have happened....
Why?
i really wonder what is happening and what is the group lacking that makes people leave and make people less committed???

Tomorrow is once again weekends...
Cant spend time with my friends...
10am to 12pm will be eXcess H2o...
Followed by 2 to 4pm ministry time for Arts and Media.
Then after that i cant attend youth mass...got to go for Grandpa's birthday...
Haiz...
I am emotionally unstable today...
Ya maybe because HE is the cause of it.
I am going off to sleep and wind off all the unstable emotional.
Ok bye to all....
be back soon....

Anyway before i go off it Genevieve 20th Birthday today...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GENEVIEVE :))

COUSIN'S WEDDING ON 29/09/09

2009-10-01T10:54:00.009+08:00

COUSIN'S WEDDING WAS ON 29/09/09...
What a nice day and date.
Haha i was made to be the bride's maid and guess what i was so blur because i dont really know what i was suppose to do and all....
But the couples big day was really awesome!!!

in the bridal car...

grandparents photo taking after matrimony...

the bestman, the usher, the couple and the bridesmaid...

the family potrait...

tea reception...phototaking w my family...

At Orchid country club...

the tea ceremony...

the DINNER...VIP table...

after everything is over...the bride and the bride's maid :))

no mood for anything....dear where are you????

2009-09-27T23:44:00.005+08:00

1 week of holiday have passby so fast....
I dint really enjoy my first week of holiday actually...
Anyway, I am really pissed off today plus i dont have the mood for anything today...
Messaged the whole day today but did not even reply...
Called also but didnt return call.... how would you feel if you are in my shoes?
Morning went for 1130am mass..Thank God i was early once again.
Then lunched with Joanna and Freda at Junction 8 and at the same time collected my GV membership card.
Home-ed after that while they both left for town to shop.
Came back continue my calling and smsing and ya still no reply...
So decided and sleep and forget everything.......
Then got pissed off by my mum and sister for disturbing me from sleeping,
It was when i barely slept for 1/2 an hour *argh*
Slept till about 6plus decided to just log on to msn and guess what HE was waiting for me online....
I was freaking angry and guess i didnt scold him or anything but just blame it on myself saying that i was not understanding enough that he was busy running up and down to the hospital to visit his friend who got admitted due to the motorist accident.
Ya he pampered me a little and then i had to go off for dinner with my family.
Reached home at 10pm didnt have mood at all today for my family dinner.

Came online straight and start blog hopping and facebook-ed...
Saw my ITE days photos and you know something i miss my ite friends....
Its so different from poly friends....
ITE friends really treasure every moment with you...
Journey with you, even the lecturers in ITE are better of....
I miss my days in ITE.
ITE days i feel so motivated to study just to get a high GPA.
Just to get into poly.
But now in poly my results is so bad that i dun have a goal....
I am just plainly studying for nothing.
All i know after i graduate is to work as a Staff Nurse.

Haiz i miss those days.
Anyway, i got to go off soon...
i am off to pack my stuff for the hotel stay tomorrow.
Anyway we are gonna meet up tomorrow....
Love you and take care...Bye.

NEW BLOGSKIN colours over the rainbow

2009-09-25T01:12:00.002+08:00

Yeah finally changed new blogskin after so so long :)
Now i am feeling sleepy but still i am going to blog a little before sleeping...
This holiday most of the time is sleeping and keeping HIM accompanied :))
But sad to say that my 1st week of holiday is coming to an end :((
Holiday is always passing by so quickly :(( I am not prepared for my 2nd yr of studies......
Anyway....today HIS friend have had a car accident today... hope his friend is going to be alright.
Today i went to collect my NEW PASSPORT at lavender ICA BUILDING...
Haha the new passport looks so cool man....
Really cool :))
Then after that was SGH medical appointment and check up for me for my LOW BLOOD COUNT.
Ya you are right there wasnt any improvement at all....
But still i will live everyday happily till the day i vanish from this world.
Anyway thanks for coming to my place to see me after you visit your friend who is admitted,
Despite how tired you were....
Thanks for the company.
Really appreciated it a lot.
Ok my eyes are so heavy that i can just sleep in front of my computer.
Just took medication and the drowsiness is taking effect....
Goodnite to all and later will be going to IKEA....
I wanna get stuff for my room!!!! Furniture shopping!!!!
Then will be movie with my cousin's PHOBIA2 at VIVOCITY GV :))
Yeah tomorrow is a fun day but sad that i cant meet HIM for the next few days :((
But still i am to be happy....days will passby very fast.
Ok im off to sleep...enjoy reading!!!!

RESULTS + the UGLY TRUTH MOVIE

2009-09-23T23:57:00.003+08:00

Today is results day.
And guess what Daphy dint do well......
Ya of course dint do well cz many things happen at that period during my exams and it kinda of affected my results tremendously :(
Got to buck up next semester....Its year 2 so got to work doubly hard!!!!
Ya anyway i got 1B+, 4B, 2C and 1D+...altogether GPA only 2.404 :((
What a lousy GPA and grades :((
In my whole life in nursing i never gotten a D before since ITE days...
Majority always DISTINCTION and now a big FAT D :((
Haiz guess i shouldnt complain so much many people have told me that passing this major exam without having to repeat or take supplementary paper is good enough dont have to compare with anyone but myself.

Past few days since holiday started i was horribly sick.....
high fever+cough+sore throat+runny nose+ headache+itching :((
Now finally starting to recover :))
And today is the first day i go out and start my holiday outing with my lovable people...
Went to watch THE UGLY TRUTH today.
Haha i got this complimentary movie ticket that Samantha gave me during my 21st and finally today i used it while watching it with HIM :)
HE only paid $7.50 for 2 people.....
YIPEE SAVE ALOT TODAY.
After that was chit chat session then went to eat dinner at VIVO FOOD REPUBLIC and was HOME SWEET HOME for both of us....
Something retarded happen at Bishan train station...
I felt so stupid making a fool out of myself....
Was acting angry with HIM because he dint wanna entertain me so i dashed up to the train which will be terminating at Yishun and realised HE wasnt on the train with me...
Thank God the train door hasnt closed so i quickly dashed out again and he told me wait for another train cz this train terminates at Yishun so he wants to wait for the next train....
Haiz made a fool of myself today :(
Then i headed to AMK hub and bought some stuff....
And then headed home...
Came back bathe and slept like a pig till 103o and then came online...
In fact both of us were already tired since after the movie.

Tomorrow is our next meet up...
But its just accompanying me for my medical check up....
Hahaha im so happy to have someone to follow me for my check up....
Most of the time i have to go alone if Jo isnt free to follow me...
But tomorrow i have my beloved to follow me...Yipee.
Oh god just hope the Dr doesnt nag or lecture me for my medication and etc.....
Hope that my Blood count is going to be ok and not low...
Hope everything is going to be fine...

Hmmmm....my blog skin is kinda of boring...
Thought of changing it but kinda of lazy...
But my blogskin is getting boring :((
Any recommendation???
ok Daphy is going off to sleep...
Nitey nite :))

Start of holiday

2009-09-20T21:50:00.004+08:00

HOLIDAY HOLIDAY HOLIDAY HOLIDAY HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!
Yes i have officially ended my 3 weeks of attachment...
Yeah and its holiday now...4 weeks...till 19th Oct :))
Yipee its time to enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have got many plans this holiday hope nothing will interfere in my WONDERFUL PLANS!!!
But tomorrow got to stay home cz Daphy is sick.....
Running high temperature, flu, cough, sore throat and body is aching like mad :(((
This feeling sucks :((
Seen the doctor and spend a lot just on the 6 types of medications that i am on.....

For the next 2 weeks i wont be that involve for eXcess especially H2o...
Its my dearest cousin's wedding preparation and wedding on 29.09.09...
Hmmmm results on Wednesday....die die die......
Hope i can do well though.
If i dont do well or fail one of the modules there's gonna be a supplementary paper...
Which means STUDY again. No holiday.
Sian. But i hope for the best of course.

I cant wait for our Sentosa trip...
The one he promised me......
I am still waiting... ...
We both are so adventurous and we planned so many things and outings but then have to wait and wait for time to allow us to go out.....
I am always the free one and HE is always the doubtful one.
Yes i have to declare we still got feelings for each other...
Of course we do..... But we are taking things slowly.....
Complications are hindering us.........
Its been 2 months and we are still growing strong....
We will see how things goes....
hmmmm......

Anyway i am waiting for someone online dun noe when will he be on....
Hmmmmm........ ok will be back to update....
Since its my holiday now i will try to update as much as possible....
See ya....

Last week in TTSH 5C

2009-09-14T20:30:00.006+08:00

Its been so long since i last blogged....
Been busy with attachment and many other things.....
I am so caught up with my busy schedules that my social life is being affected...
My prayer life too..
4 more days and my attachment for year1sem2 will come to an end :))
After that on 23rd September is RESULTS...Haiz hope i pass everything, at least a pass will do!!!!

Attachment at TTSH is getting better each day....
I am in GERALDINE ward, since we POP from st john days we haven meet up since then...
And now she is my staff nurse and i am her junior traniee...so cool :))
1st week for me was more of adapting to their routine and environment...
Many times i think of SGH and i miss there.
2nd week got better manage to built bond with my Clinical instructor but then the some staff that i worked with really get on my nerves....
Its my first time crying during attachment, and i am glad my CI was of great help...
And not forgetting my 2 opposite shift friends EVELYNN AND VITHIA we were there when i needed comfort :)) Thanks Girls :))
Thank YOU for meeting me when i was at my lowest and letting me pour out my unhappiness....
Thanks for that wonderful moment spend with you :))
Ok then 3rd week came....
Got new students in my ward...accerlerated students...nice knowing them.
And i did skills:))
I really hope i can enjoy my last week of attachment with my staff there :))
All the best to me.

Next 4weeks is going to be vacation for me....
Hmmmmm wat should i do to make my vacation a enjoyable one????
Someone is going to treat me to Sentosa, movie, Night safari, Pulau Ubin and etc yipee :))
My cousins wedding, i being the brides maid:))
If i pass all my modules for this semester and dun have to take supp paper i will be heading to cruise with my relatives:))
Then 2days of student-mentoring camp for leadership training for orientation :))
hehe..... anyone wanna spend time with me...????
Haha, ok i got to go soon...got to wake up early and work tmr......
Yipee...God please give me energy to work...i need strength from you :))

Thanks for being there for me...
Telling me everything is going to be alright...
Everything that is happening right now its going to make us stronger...
When the time comes we will eventually know.....
Pray hard and everything is going to be fine...
We will see how things goes...
God bless and take care:))

i want to be happy once again

2009-08-24T21:26:00.003+08:00

Its monday once again.
Hmmmm just started revising for my Bio paper.
Anyway Childbearing was Ok still managable, dun expect much tho.
1 more paper and i will done w all my this semester modules...
Thursday is class outing to SAKURA!!!!!

Last weekend my bestest sisier Joanna stayed over at my place to keep me accompanied...
Thanks girl...
Was super vexed about everything that is happening, family, financial and etc......
Just kept crying to myself in my cosy little room, having no one to talk about....
Until when Friday decided to meet Freda and jo's stay over at my place on sat nite.
Sat the drama was worst.......
Many phone calls kept coming in :((
Sometimes i really wonder why did i even turn 21 years old so fast?
Why did my daddy even past away?
Why is the will that my daddy left for me for my education making everyone quarrel?
Haiz why why why......
But anyway i really thank god for jo's company on Saturday....tho she have got alot of work to do.
Thanks sister :))

Anyway i have watched THE PROPOSAL and its a great show....
Hehe... recommended to watch.
Next up i wanna watch G-force coming this 3rd September....
I want to be a that HAPPY GIRL ONCE AGAIN.....
Thats my greatest wish.....
I want to.....

to contine or to let go

2009-08-19T18:47:00.006+08:00

Completed sociology paper today...
Erm a tough paper that everyone just hope to at least pass it.
2 more papers to go and i will be done with my Y1sem2...
Was super troubled today when i got home....
Reflecting about this nearly 1 month situation that i am in....
I duno to actually continue or to let it go.
Its also affecting my studies quite a bit.
Which i dont want it to happen because this career path is my dad's greatest last wish that he wants me to fulfill for him.
And i am trying hard to make him be proud of me....
Graduated from ITE and now next path is to graduate from my diploma.
I want to make my dad proud...

Sociology revision at macs

2009-08-17T20:40:00.003+08:00

Today was Sociology revision.
Manage to get some facts into my head....
Tomorrow to be continued.
Anyway wednesday is Sociology paper kinda scared that i cant make it thru....
Childbearing is going to be worst....
Bio sci 30chapters and i haven even touched it yet.
:(( i really hope i can just pass all my modules and i will be more than happy.
i am stress now....
i am feeling fustrated when i cant remember impt facts and points...
i am emotionally unstable too..think cz its the peak of the month thats why...
Where are you, when i needed you most at this point of time????
:((

eXcess 4th birthday!!!

2009-08-16T23:16:00.003+08:00

Thanks to dear for waking me up today if not i would be very late for church.
Reached at about 945am, helped out with Lay Apostolate open house booth and....
Yes yes today is eXcess 4th Birthday.... HAPPY 4TH BITHDAY TO ALL MEMBERS :)
Attended 1130am mass and later headed to Nick's house to celebrate eXcess birthday.
Stayed till about 4pm and headed home.
Wasnt in the mood for anything so while some are playing poker, some watching twilight, i headed home to rest.
Was suffering to sleep but then i thank god for letting me at least sleep for about 1hour or so....
Woke up at about 7pm and then was dinner with my family.
Planned to head home to study after dinner but i am too tired.
So deciding to sleep now for awhile.........
Anyway HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY TO EXCESS :))

SENTOSA with my Special someone :))

2009-08-14T23:14:00.004+08:00

Today was called back to school last minute for mask fitting....
Called back at 9am but then there was last minute changes....instead it started at 10, so ya was slacking in lab class for like 1hr...
After that my clique left me, think they have their own plans.....
So after my mask fitting went out for lunch with class people....
Woohoo to LONG JOHN SILVERS at J8 :))
Happening group of classmates AND we flooded LJS with about 13 of us there :))
Guys: Dinesh, Kenny, Kartic, Fendi, Rizwan, Yong Yi
Girls: Me, Wendy, Monica, Fatin, Jessica, Vithia, Lisa
After eating "Branch" Wendy, Monica and me went shopping and we bought stuff.....
Omg daphy is wasting money on clothes again!!!
SIGH :((
After that was SENTOSA day out.
I am a HAPPY GIRL of course.....
The sweetest moment that i will never forget spending with someone special....
In fact every moment is memorable :))
Anyway went for skyride and luge ride.... It was awesome!!!!
Next week onwards its study break....got to study hard and do well....
My dearest Boy will motivate me through this period, i am sure he will.
:))

watched UP in 3D :))

2009-08-13T21:27:00.002+08:00

Finally all project done :)
And my group did well...well done group 2...
First when group 1 presentated i felt stress because theirs was good and has alot of creativity...
But thank God Ms Cynthia gave us good comments on my group presentation too...Yipee :)
And yes yes yes....
Watched UP in 3D...
Its a great show, its worth watching it :))
Of course its nice too because i am watching with someone special :))
Double happiness.
Thanks for everything....
At the same time i am kinda of worried now...
Many things are running through my mind right now....
I feel stress and worried.
Really hope things will turn out find after 2 weeks.
My greatest wish.... hope it will come true.

GROWING STRONG

2009-08-12T22:07:00.006+08:00

Waiting for Xing yi to send out the final product for evidence base project for presentation tomorrow...so now coming here to blog while waiting....
After tomorrow all my projects will be done for this semester :)
Then i can concentrate for my revision for my upcoming semestral exam for the next 3 weeks.
There is some changes in my attachment schedule....
BUT STILL I AM IN TTSH which i dun like....
I wanna take sponsorship at SGH in my 2nd year....
I want to work in SGH and have my attachment there.

Anyway last few days was like a disaster to me...
Emotional break down...
But i thank god for friends who have seen me through this period.
Things are getting better between the both of us now, just that we need some time to re-adapt back once again.
My feelings are still lingering in there when i start to think back...but i got to be firm at times in my decision and rights.
Anyway i hope that i can get out of this soon, and hope god will guide me through this season. And my friends to be there for me :)

Yesterday was outing with my cliques....
Swensen treat by APPLE ANY XING YI!!!!
Thanks for cheering me up girl.... you girls are great!!!
Today tutorial group 52 inviting the 4 of us...the PRETTIES to their BBQ feels hounored!!!
hehe its really great knowing them dring this semester.
School been great. I am happy. Everyone is happy....:)))

AT SWESENS WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS :))

YR1SEM2 PROJECT MATES GROUP PHOTO W DR.MUYAR:))

i want to continue to receive the LOVE from you that is my greatest wish ... ...

Where are you i miss you

2009-08-06T21:15:00.003+08:00

Oh man exams are round the corner.
Next tues is dev.psychology paper and i have yet to study anything.
I need motivation!!!
Anyway i cant wait to watch movie entitled UP with dear :)
Hehe....
But then he say study comes first after that then he will bring me out.
But then after exam is ATTACHMENT!!!!
How to relaxs and enjoy :((
Haiz sad.

Tomorrow is going to be DA VINCI CODE exhibition with the girls.
Then Saturday is outing with my dearest sister jo :))
Haven seen her for about a week or so.
But i guess i am only going to meet up for a few hours or so....
Cz she have plans to go to Freda's place to play SIMS 3...
Thought i could spent time with her this whole sat but ya....
Haiz never mind guess its because my absence from eXcess have difted me apart...
But still i got to say i Miss her.
I AM STRESS I NEED MOTIVATION. I DUN WANT TO FAIL ANY MODULE.

EVERYONE IS PRECIOUS TO ME

2009-08-02T23:02:00.004+08:00

Couldnt attend AGM yesterday....
SICK SICK SICK...
Dislike the virus that is attacking people body....
Humph.... UGLY DISGUSTING BUG GO AWAY!!!!
Anyway...
I thank those who have been here for me when i was horribly sick at home....
But then i thank God for every single one who texted me and asking me how am i feeling and all...
I am really blessed to have everyone by my side.
Had JOANNA CHRISTINE LEE HUI LING my beloved sister having to text me everyday seeing if i am recovering.
Had DEAR by my side to take care of me, calling me up every single hour. Even offered to watch HANGOVER and HARRY POTTER THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE movie with me. That explains why i haven been recovering fully..
NICHOLAS CHARLES to text me even when he is on guard duty.
REALLY appreciates everyone concern for me...DAPHY LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

Am i being on the right track??

2009-08-01T22:52:00.004+08:00

Its been some time since i last blogged... 12days.
I duno how long is this post going to be but ya i will just shoot every single thought that is running in my head right now.

Last weekend was Hillsongs.....
I have got a awesome experience and i am glad i went and got touched by God :)

Ok anyway i finished all my practical in this semester...
Now i can finally focus on my final semster paper...THEORY.
Wait....
There is still one project not done, the one and only tough project...EVIDENT BASED PRACTICE!!!!
Haiz...
Got my clinical posting attachment too and really sad to say that i am not being posted to SGH but to TTSH :(
Planning to take a bond at SGH but then there is some thing that is restricting me from taking the bond.
Many people have told me to take it but then some say taking a bond is not easy especially w my health status.
Now i am just waiting for God confirmation....I am seeking for his advice.

Past few days i have been thinking hard if i had made the right move.
I know you are trying hard to accommodate to my needs and encourging in my never ending treatment...
Thanks for being that pillar of support but every now and then i start to question myself if what i did was right...
I am just afraid i might fall like how i did the last time.
I dont want to suffer my dear.
I am really scared things dont work out,
You tried so hard to get me and now i am the one feeling vexed about it.
I have YOU, MY beloved friends, family and church to balance out my time...
I am afraid i might collaspe any time....
Now my exams is round the corner i really dun have the motivation to start cz i have been thinking and reflecting alot...
I really question myself why am i so quick in my decision making...
Did i make the right move????

Haiz i think my constant fever have burned my brain that is why i am thinking so much and being emotional right now.
Maybe its just this period of stress that makes me so sick about every single thing.
I need a rest.

FEARFUL

2009-07-20T00:18:00.003+08:00

Back to school tomorrow
Its so fast, my weekends are over.
I cant wait for the next weekend :)
I really feel so disheartened to go school every week.
Cz of the situation that i am facing in school.
Facing people again.
Another round of awkward silence.

This week is going to be a busy week.
Tomorrow is my CLINICAL LAB MEDICATION practical.
Haven study but i just merely read through it.
Wednesday is Bio and Health Assessment.
Thursday Sociology deviance presentationa and 1500wds of Law and ethics essay.
Oh...what a hectic week.

After this week its going to be HELL AGAIN.
Going back to SGH for another round of treatment.
Scared + freaking Scared= Horribly terrifying :(
Which means i am going to miss Kayak for the next 6months.
So no exercising for me again.
Boring.
But ya what to do life have been like that for me all the while.
But peopel dont understand.
Only me myself and i know what i am going through.
Sad to say why am i being brought to earth with all this things as a burden.
Haiz....
I am speechless...
Really speechless.....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just wanna pass with my diploma cert

2009-07-17T23:22:00.002+08:00

Its weekend once again.
I love weekends.
Anyway i cant wait for the semester to end....
Just hope i can pass my this semester.
School days have been sucky.....
I am not being appreciated, but again and again i tell myself i come to school to study and get my diploma and not to see people face.
Every week i just have thoughts of skipping school.
I am also not being invited for anything, they just asked me at times just because i am there.
I am thinking if i should change PW grp in my next sem if i am given the chance.
First we started out as great friends but now i am just being neglected.....
I dun mind not having them to support me in the things i do, the only thing now is that i have to console myself and just encourage myself for my school stuff...
But i Thank God i have great friends in church, where i can rely on.
Especially excess people and not forgetting my dearest sister :)

Gastric painz

2009-07-15T22:19:00.002+08:00

Gastric pain since yesterday on and off.
After h2o yesterday my gastric pain acted up and i couldnt talk at all.
Even during devotion i couldnt share much, i was a mute.
Thought after eating a little and drinking a cup of hot milo will help but NO.
Thanks to my dearest Jo for following me home.
I couldnt talk to her much or to entertain her the pain was horribly unbearable that i had thoughts of taking a Cab instead of waiting for a bus.
But thank God the bus arrive as soon as i mention to Jo about taking cab.
SAVED SOME MONEY ON CAB FARE!!!!

Today i was a model for my course mates Health assesment practical.
I feel so nervous for them as they take their exam.
My turn will come next week.
Xing Yi as my model.
Hope i can make it through i dun want to take a second attempt.
GOD please guide me and see me through this.

Few minutes ago was talking to Jo.
Thanks to her for cheering me up and talking nonsense on the phone.
Thanks for being that friend that show so much concern and love to me.
She is always here when i need someone.
Thanks Jo :))

RIOT follow up, Hillsongs tics and meet up

2009-07-05T01:52:00.002+08:00

Today is RIOT follow up party.
Everything went well.
I had a great time planning what food to offer with Vanessa and we decided on Sarprino!!!!
Ya everyone had a great time.

After follow up party was down to Suntec City to get the Hillsongs conference tics.
Haha we managed to buy about 20 tickets and yay i think we bought everything!!!
Shhh...dont tell anyone..Haha.
As we line-up for the tickets, Jo decided to go for the service there by New Creation Church.
It was cool man.
We were hesitant to go for the service at first because we needed to meet mel, ben, julia and marcus.
But then i had this calling to go for the service so Jo and i attended and it was awesome!!!
There is a part where they called people to go up and be prayed over i was scared...
So Jo turned to me and said "daphy, why not you go?"
I told her i was scared, so Jo accompanied me...
As i was being prayed over i could feel myself floating, i couldnt feel my legs and thought i was giving way....
But i resisted and quickly open my eyes.
Its a sign of surrendering and experience of being slain once again.
The service was really cool, the youth there are really welcoming and i managed to know quite a few people through Jo's friends.... :))

When service was over went to find Ben,Julia and Marcus.
Had dinner at Suntec city Han's.
Chatted and did alot of stupid things and camwhorring while waiting for Melvin to end camp.
But in the end only Jo and i met up with Melvin....
Went to serangoon macs instead because it was getting late...
Hanged,chills and catch up till abt 1230am then cabbed home with Mel.
Its was cool hanging with both of them....
hehe....yup whole day of activities were cool and total happiness :))
More to come :)

did i make the right move??

2009-07-02T23:57:00.005+08:00

Another night of thinking.
Did i made the right move?
Was i wrong being concern?
Everything started again.
I dont understand why people dun see their friends helping them change for the better.
Why people arent receptive about things.
Ever since i step up as a leader i have always wanted to journey with people,
But time and time again i feel very guilty when i realise people arent changing.
It makes me think if i had done enough.
I noe i have been hard on myself and have high expectations.
Sometimes it really makes me feel like i am bothering too much...
I sacrifice every thing to do God's work and be his instrument....
I even sacrifice my own life to get involve in people's lives.
I am putting people above self.
:(((
To say the truth my health isnt doing well.....
Each time i go for my doctor's appointment my blood count just kept dropping.
Everytime time when i get up, be it from squating or getting up from lying in bed or just merely doing house work...
Giddiness and hyperventilation occurs....
Sometimes double vision and serious headache added on too.
I am keeping this away from everyone.
I dun want anyone to think that i am sick and have restriction to the things i do.
I am even keeping this from my own family.
I just want to lead my life happily without any worries,
I am lifting my life up to God.
I know he will take control of every situation that i am in.
I know he is here with me.
I just want to live everyday like how my normal healthy friends have been leading.
I just want to be happy and do what i can.
I just want a simple life......

Sushi teh was MY DEAREST SIS JOANNA

2009-07-01T14:32:00.004+08:00

4 more days of extended holiday and it will be back to school :((

I want a longer holiday.

I dun feel like going back to school next monday.

I am longing forward for my long vacation in sept...9 weeks = 2 months!!!!

Anyway yesterday was a great hang out day with my dearest sister Joanna...

Went to Raffles city shopping centre sushi teh to eat :)

Have a lot of fun there and shopping was great too.

Haiz but its so sad that her holiday ends yesterday and today is her first day of work.

Which means our meet up session will be lessen.

:((

A FRIEND AND A SISTER THAT I JOURNEY WITH :))

RIOT-READY IN OUR TIME

2009-06-28T23:19:00.005+08:00

RIOT has officially ended today.

It was great seeing people work so hard in this event.

We eXcess made quite a bit too.

Excellent effort to all who made this event possible :))

After cleaning up and packing up....

Was home sweet home...

Thank God for Ben's car to send Mel, Jo and i home safely.

After i came back didnt have the strength to do anything,

All i did was bathe then off to sleep :))

Poor me was so damn tired, slept at 4am the day before...

Oh and my legs gave way, they were wobbly.

Haha mum just merely woke me up to go out for dinner at 7pm and guess what i fell on my knee when i was getting up from bed....

Couldnt feel anything on my lower limbs.

I thought i was paralyzed or something.

One whole day after RIOT i had to be confined in bed with my laptop entertaining me....

I want to legs to regain its strength once again :((

My dearest sis joanna lee is back

2009-06-25T23:50:00.005+08:00

Lost my wallet on Tuesday night :((
Its a big hassle to lost important things.
Haiz.
Worst still i experienced a concussion while i cab to Sengkang interchange to search for my wallet hoping the bus driver will find it and return it.
But then NO SIGNS OF ANY WALLET,
and i have a big baluku on my head.
Experience a concussion, blackout for like 2mins and later it was ok....
When morning came, i encountered doubled vision plus slight blur vision....
I was scared, didnt know what to do but just rubbed it.
Now i cant comb the right side of my head.
But anyway this 2 days its better already.... Just that it hurts at times.
Hope its nothing serious.
:((

By the way, Today went back school for extra clinical lab practice.
Finally get to see my girls once again...Xing Yi, Wan Ying n Chew Xian.
After that was NYP library then home at about 2pm.
Anyway next week is EXTENDED term break for all NYP students.
Thank God for the extension.
Because i haven have time to sit down and revise for my common test.
Next week since everyone is going back school which means there will be less entertainments.
So ya time to sit down and study and do some revision.

Met up with my dearest Jo today.
Haha last minute decided to meet up, since its been quite sometime since we last met up and catch up.
Thank God she is free.
I haven seen her for like 4days, and today finally God permitted.
Miss her to the max really.
I love our meet up session.
I am glad she is my cell leader,
I am glad she is journeying with me,
I am God sent her to me,
On top of all this JO is a GOD SENT FRIEND :)

its tuesday once again

2009-06-23T15:10:00.002+08:00

5 more day of term break.
Omg its so fast and soon exam are here once school start next week.
I hardly get to study nowadays.
Psychology project not done.
Sociology project not done.
1500 words of Essay for law and ethics only 1/4 done.
Clinical lab theory haven study yet.
EVERYTHING IS NOT DONE!!!!
omg omg i need a longer break.
My priority now is JO first.
Then followed by RIOT event
Then school.
I am really feeling the stress right now.
But i wanna get everything done in a tip top state and not some sloppy work.
I wanna get the best out of everything.
I miss my best friend.

I miss jo

2009-06-22T23:07:00.003+08:00

Today was a day out with my relative for lunch.
Then after that was bridal shop to fit my bridesmaid outfit.
And guess what i put on weight for the past 2 months and i am surprised.
The lady was like "omg its kinda of tight now and you need to breathe in in order to zip up the dress"
I was like huh FAT!!!!
For the next 2 months i got to control my diet in order to fit the dress nicely....
DIET DIET DIET!!!
After that was home sweet home and napped.

Evening came and i had plans initailly but then there was change.
So was out with Edward and nick to J8.
Had a great time with both of them chatting and catching up.
at abt 930 was home.

Wonder how is my dearest Joanna doing now.
Wonder how is she coping now (tho she do update me)
I am seriously worried for her,
I do know how she feel.
Its not easy during this period.
All i could do is to constantly support her spiritually.
Hey dearest and precious sister of mine, stay strong and i know you are.
Daphy love and misses you deeply...
take care!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY 2009 and i miss jo

2009-06-21T23:50:00.005+08:00

Yesterday night i had a great time with my dearest sister JOANNA :)
Reached my place at 1230am after supper.
Was pyjamas night!!!!
We did menu for RIOT then was SORBET ICE CREAM enjoyment :)
So happy to have her around :)
We dint sleep the whole night....played connect 4 and at the same time we catch up with one another.
But we took like 30mins POWER NAP!!!
Had to be in church for RIOT fundraising at 630am.
We were on time. Yipee.
Our UGLY BETTY plan was not fulfilled :(
Next stayover we should plan it well and make it more exciting!!!!
I LOVE YOU JO :)

Today is FATHER'S DAY :(
Everyone have their own dad to celebrate father's day with.....
When i hear the people around me say:
"HAPPY FATHER'S DAY"
"FATHER'S DAY CELEBRATION"
and etc.... i will start to think of my beloved dad.
Really my thoughts of him have not vanish since the dad i witness his death.
He was never once forgotten.
I was very affected whenever i hear the word FATHER.
But then i thank God for the lovable peopel around me keeping me happy and distracting my thoughts....
But then as and when i am alone i will still think of him.
"Dad, i miss you. I cant wish you HAPPY FATHER'S DAY directly. I know i ant hug you like how i used to hug you and say i love you :( But then you are the bestest dad i have ever got. Miss you lots and our father-daughter relationship will not be drifted. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER I AM DADDY'S GIRL :)), LOVE YOU DEEPLY DAD:))"

p.s: Hey bestie i will be praying for you. You are the greatest friend that i have made. I thank God for you. Anyway stay strong ya, i know you are. i will keep you in my prayers always. Love you JO!!!

2 more days SLEEPOVER

2009-06-18T11:49:00.008+08:00

So fast and first week of my term break is ending so soon.
Have been hanging out with eXcess people....
Love their company.
i want a longer term break!!!!!
Law and ethics individual essay not done :(
Clinical Lab theory exam, haven even touch the book.
Haha i cant wait for sat to come soon.....
Jo's staying over at daphy's place.
Finally i can talk to her and share my thoughts with her.
I got so many things to share with her about.
Its been quite some time since we last had heart to heart sharing.
She is being held up by so many people around her :((
7 years of dearest friendship and this is the first time she is sleeping over at my place.
While i stay at her place more than 10 times????? :))

hmmmm anyway this few days i have been thinking a lot since i am having my term break.
Just thinking how some people are actually affecting me in my life.
The words that brings me down, the person actions that hold me back.
In front of me this person seems totally alright with me, talking to me and laughing with me and etc.
I sense hypocrite. I really dislike such people surrounding me.
I just dun feel happy having you around me...sometimes i wish you can just vanish away from my sight.
My freedom to mix around with my loved one around me have been distanced.
Jealousy got the better of me, my heart to love people have changed.
But i tend to try everytime because that is purpose in my ministry.
But then come to think of it again why must i let YOU affect me....
You are not my best friend either you are just a hi-bye friend.
I just hope you can just stop doing what you are doing to me, i really have had enough of you.
I gave you a chance but you mistreated it......
I dislike you ever since you came into the picture.
I hope you can just stop what you are doing.
You are adding on to my load.
VANISH away and i am more than happy.

2days 1night youth council retreat at IHM

2009-06-13T23:13:00.005+08:00

2days 1night Youth Council Leader's Retreat at IHM.
Was late for camp.
Had to be a 2days 1 night private nurse for Melvin and Edward :)
Melvin stitch dressing dropped off during soccer.
Edward sprined his knee during soccer.
Yeay that explains why i needed to be the nurse for the camp.
The retreat was good....
But then there were only 6 girls and many boys!!!!
It make me reflect upon my purpose and my goal in the group....
I get to know many youth council members and i dint expect them to be a crazy bunch of people from CTK.
First day was more of ice breaking- played games and who all have got a adjective to our names.
Haha DOMINANT!!!!
At night,me, Jo and Freda were the first few to knock-out...
Despite Joyce making so much noise,
But thank God she left the room at 23oam till 550am...
At 550 Joyce made hell lot of noise declaring there was fire.
All of us couldnt be bothered by it...hahah.
2nd day was many session by br.terence again....
But the sessions were good especially the last one where we get to share our problems with the various youth groups and share about how we entered into the various ministry.
ITS WAS ALL COOL.
I really enjoyed the camp tho it was only for 2 days.

2 Weeks term break

2009-06-12T16:50:00.003+08:00

Had school till 11am today.
Next up is 2 WEEKS of term break :)
Finally a break for me to catch up with a lot of things.
Later at 6pm its Youth Council Retreat at IHM.

depression state and more to come

2009-05-31T23:01:00.003+08:00

Its been 2weeks and its still on going...

But in fact things are getting worst each day.

On top of all those things that i posted on the previous entry....

Had a unreasonable arguement with my ex coursemate....

Ok its from a small issue and she made it so big that things got out of hand.

I did my part by explaining every single detail and my reasons...

She wasnt receptive, flare up and a made things worst.

Then my first test in poly i did badly...my ever first D in my nursing life.

What a demoralising and disgrace result.

Ok i admit i dint study hard enough.

So its time for me to buck up and do better for the other modules.

2 more weeks of sch and it will be 2 weeks exam break from 15th to 28th June...

Going to make full use of it and study hard.

Study with me anyone???

Anyway i really wanna thank my dearest best friend Joanna for journeying with me during this diffcult time of mine.

Spending time with me and catching up with me.

This is what i call and acknowledge close friends.

Someone who dont leave you when you need someone...

Someone who is willing to hear you out.....

Someone who understands you and journey with you...

Even when things goes wrong or misunderstanding occurs we could talk things out and settle it in a day....

7 years of friendship is still growing strong, in fact is getting stronger and stronger each day...

Jo, thanks for every single thing, be it big or small you have showered me with.

Thanks a lot for this friendship :)

JOANNA CHRISTINE LEE

Childhood depression

2009-05-25T22:11:00.003+08:00

CHILDHOOD DEPRESSION
Reviving my childhood memories for the past 1 week.
Environment, People, programmes, stories, articles and dreams have been leading me back to my past time....
Its not easy to struggle alone for the past 4 years without someone who is dear to me.
His diminished figure of him kept appearing to me in my dreams...
That shows how much he actually loves me as his dearest daughter.
When i was 5months old i was being send in and out of hospital due to bronchitis and pneumonia...
Everyday he would carry me from my nanny's place to bring me for treatment.
When i was born i wasnt being brought home until when i was 5....
He pampered me so much just to gain a family love and bond that he dint give me since my mum gave birth to me...
So thats when i was being brought home.
When i was 12 something happened....
His wanted to do a blood transplant but then his blood was incompatible.
So all he could do was to constantly give moral and spiritual support.
When i was 16...
It was his ever first parent teacher meeting....
Got whole lot of a scolding but then his scolding was more of a motivation to me....
That was the last time i got to talk to him as a daughter...
After that was his 10days of lying in the hospital bed in SGH...
It was my turn to take care of him for the last time....
Within 10days he passed away, NOT letting me speak to him for the last time before he breathe his last....
Since then was 4 years coming to 5 spend time in a isolated room at home.
Nobody knows when i am sad and thinking of him because i always put on a brave front, thinking that everything is alright,
I may look strong on the outside but deep down HE IS NOT FORGOTTEN....
He is not some stranger but my BELOVED DAD...

Neonatal jaundice, Comm skill and Bio sci...done..

2009-05-20T20:33:00.005+08:00

Ok...just a short update here.
COMM SKILL PREENTATION DONE..
And it was horribly done...lecturer gave sympathy marks so from a C to a B.
Skit was not coordinated properly.
Slides was so out of point from our skit.
Introduction was NOT DONE.
Conclusion was NOT DONE.
And ya the group had some problem, because some people are not receptive to other members suggestion and all....

NEONATAL JAUNDICE AND PHOTOTHERAPY DONE..
This presentation was much better as compared to comm skill.
Lecturer say its BETTER THAN GOOD!!!
Just that we didnt add in 2 research journals...
So we hope its going to be a high grade for this module.

BIOLOGICAL SCIENCE...
Erm worst than what i expected...
I got to admit i dint really have time to study much for this but i did what i can and did my best.
I have this feeling that i am going to have to repeat this module if i were to do badly for this paper.

So God i pray that you can give me the strength to carry on in this course...and thanks for the love ones around me supporting me....You are being loved :)

5weeks of school

2009-05-18T20:47:00.002+08:00

ITS SO FAST. I am in NYP for like 5 weeks already.
School and have been more or less good....
Made many lovable friends.
We joke, trick and gossip about people...
Haha in a GOOD WAY of course!!!!
Have been falling sick recently...
On and off i am having fever.....
Flu, sore throat, cough and runny nose....ARGH!!!!
Hate to fall sick when exam is round the corner!!!
Tomorrow is going to be my Comm skills presentation...
Oh man scary!!!!
But then i hope everything is going to out fine...
Thanks to my Girl-friends in school for sacrificing and exchanging with me my script for presentation tomorrow....make my life so much more easier.
Biological science exam on wednesday and Neonatal Jaundice presentation on wednesday....
Wow this week is a hectic week!!!
Cant wait for next week where my timetable is going to be less slack.....
WEEK6!!!

i believe you are there waiting for me. I miss the encounter with you.

ICAs submission in week 5

2009-05-08T23:31:00.003+08:00

Just back from Chew Xian place.
Had school from 8 am to 5pm today...
After that had a change of plans, so went over to Chew Xian's place to do our PROJECTS...
Dinner-ed at Yew Tee and met up with Xing Yi and Wan Ying...
We were all so shag but we still persevered on and did what we can....
Today in class i could hardly concentrate in class...
Sociology mass lecturer i was dozing off every single minute...
School been rather tiring and stressing for me....
Biological quiz..... i am glad i know certain question..
Calculated my results and i realise its just merely a pass only...
So ya got to really start studying for the paper which is in 2 weeks time.
With my group of friends i believe we can make it through our 2.5years motivating each other when we feel like giving up...
I NEED MOTIVATION........

ITE AHS graduation ceremony

2009-05-06T19:36:00.010+08:00

Today is my graduation at ITECE...

Finally today its the day where i get my NITEC certification from the directors...

Actually come to think of it i miss my days in ITE nursing...

Its where i found and made many friends....

Its where my nursing career started....

Its where i started to grow and learn many values...

If not for my lecturers who journeyed with me for my 2 years i wouldnt be where i am today....

Anyway i dint get to see many of my lecturers and friends today...

After graduation was back to school at NYP for laboratory class...

Rushed back with my group of friends...

I miss ITE days :((

Thanks for the loud cheers that i got when i was receiving my certificate :))

today is my bestie 23rd birthday...

i cant wish her personally cz she is notin Singapore...

I cant wait for her to return...

I miss her jokes and laughters...

I cant wait to see her on sat...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNA :))

week 2 in sch

2009-05-01T10:58:00.003+08:00

Today is LABOUR DAY!!!
Which means its sleep day....
Yeah i love long weekends.....
I get to do and revise on my notes and catch up with my love ones....
School been rather tough lately...
Project after project....
Assignment after assignment....
Now on hand i got?????
3 skills assessment....
4 theory paper to study for.....
5 ICA (In course assessment) projects and presentations....
3 essay to research and type.....
Everything got to be handed up by week 5....
And now its already week 2 :(((
Stress stress stress.... busy busy busy :(((

Sometimes i really thoughts of giving up....
Its a big jump from ITE to poly life....
Time and time again people motivated me....
My life is super mixed up.....
My feelings just keep coming back....
But nothing seems to change.....
I tried my best, but things just got worst each day.....
Our midnight calls became lesser....
Our casual talk totally faded away.....
Our care and concern for each other worsen....
I dont know what to say but i just hope it dint happen at all....
You are being missed....

Tuesday night was Sisterhood....
We touched on the topic about childhood....
I dint have the courage to share...
its hard for me to share when the feeling is still lingering in there....
I will be taking this 1 month to think about it and question myself....
Hope God can give me the courage to share it with my girls.....
Give them the trust, for me to step out of my own comfort zone....

p/s: Xingyi, chew xian, Wan ying, i need your help to motivate me in school!!!

1st week of school at NYP

2009-04-24T19:56:00.007+08:00

I realised that i haven been blogging lately.
School have started for me at NYP.
Hmmmm first week in the school, new environment and made new friends :)
Just a short intro about my tutorial group...
I feel stress in this class....
Many of them either have many years of work experience or some of them came in from ITE with very high GPA of 4.0.....See how competitive my class is?????
Sometimes i really wonder if i can make it through to graduate :P
Anyway,
First day was bad because we had hard time looking for our tutorial and lecture classes.
And yes i kept dozing off, i had hard time keeping myself awake in class...
Second day got better and i got to know a new friend XING YI :))
and then the next few days was more on a stress day for me...
Many projects and assignments kept piling up like mad.
But then out of so many modules i only LOVE attending BIO and SOCIOLOGY class.

Today ended school at 2pm instead of 5pm...
Went out with my sub-project group mates to brainstorm on our projects....
4 more weeks to many datelines.
I cant wait to finish them all and here comes my OUTING with my PROJECT/STUDY group mates....:)

Anyway, i think i have been drifting away from people and neglecting them.....
I am sorry to...i will try to commit as much time ya...
Ok i have slacked enough now back to my research :((
My 1st week in school with my group of friends-Xing Yi, Chew Sian and Wan Ying...
Was great.... thanks for all the laughter and joy i am really glad to have you guys journeying with me in my 2.5years of poly days... :))

DAPHY YOU CAN DO IT :) STAY POSITIVE!!!

THE FRIENDS I MET...

(who brings joy to my poly life)

WANYING.DAPHNE.CHEWXIAN.XINGYI

MY PROJECT&STUDY BUDDIES :))

2009-04-19T19:03:00.002+08:00

Feeling disturbed.

Feeling disappointed too.....

Now i finally know why it even happened...

Because of favouritism and bias-ness...

and also unfair judgements...

Negativity got the better of me...

The trust that i gave to you is broken....

Just because of someone that is in the midst of us.

Pondering................................